The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I had to delete my account abruptly because I think it became compromised I'm hoping that enough time, new name and new email address will do the trick. I have been a lurker and reading daily for my dose of the wise people on these boards.
Things are going good .. I'm still married .. probably will be for a while. *sigh* the divorce that doesn't end and the funny thing is me thinking how do I parlay this into a career .. these atty's may wish they hadn't set the fire under me they have. The kids are doing great, girl is on the honor roll and my little guy is processing things better than I could at his age. We are all in therapy and it's healing a great deal with alanon, open aa meetings and many other little things.
I've had a serious wild ride lately. I've been working on and off. I'm off again. Decided to put my focus in writing a book. I've missed everyone sooo much and I've cried over a couple of posts I've read recently .. my heart aches for the pain that people have to go through to get to the other side. It is sooo good to know there is the other side and I've taken a lot of refuge in that recently.
Program wise I have had more than my share of opportunity to use it. I swear I was working with a woman who was so embedded in her past with an A which I know she was .. her behavior was definitely that of an A. I'm trying to figure out how to deal or if I should deal with that situation. Pretty much I missed a day of work for court purposes, actually it's state court purposes. Approved time off and she created a major crisis while I was out to the point the company decided to let me go. I actually believe they are working on a case to dismiss her. It wasn't my attendance in terms of how much time I missed before this court thing. It wasn't my job performance. It was def this person acting out. She is very proud of herself for getting people fired and I opened the gate for it. She had nothing up until that time. Anyway, I had to laugh .. she got what she wanted or thought she wanted and now is dealing with the consequence. The part that I can't wrap my brain around is that she called me last week 3 days after getting me fired whining about the new temp and trying to get my job back for me. Insert eyeball roll .. LOL! It bothers me a great deal and I'm praying about how I want to choose to handle the situation. On an upside I had been invited to a baby shower for another woman there and the gal I was working for who is out on maternity leave made sure to contact me that I was still going. I was sooo appreciative of that .. because first off that doesn't happen to me as I don't end things gracefully and the idea that they were so concerned that I be there. I mean what can be more of an awkward position the temp who another person went out of their way to get fired and then an outside the office baby shower .. LOL!!! I actually cried when I got the text .. all of a sudden I'm quiet the mushy person .. LOL. Feelings aren't fact they sure do feel different when they are processed. I think in the long run she did me a huge favor .. so I'm going to keep looking for a job and keep doing the next right thing. I now have time to devote to my hobby .. court .. LOL. I'm sure the stbax's atty will not be pleased about that .. LOL.
Anyway, .. I'm going to see what is what and just keep going on.
I am just so extremely grateful for this program and the other opportunities I have had to reach out to others and people who reach back.
Hugs P :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
I wondered about you and what happened to you. Thank you for reappearing and giving an update. Missed seeing your stories and your humor at the board. (((S)))
Me too. I've missed hearing from you. All along, I've marveled at your optimistic use of STBx. Maybe not so STB but eventually- keep your eyes on the prize. I agree your humor will see you through.
Well honestly I have to laugh .. for a guy who wanted out at all costs apparently he didn't mean that literally. :/ I'm grateful to be back and it was good to just read and not comment. THAT is something I'm really not good at.
I'm kind of struggling today, .. seriously .. my facebook account is on hold for 24 hours because nothing can be simple and I had to change the email account on that one. Then I had to deal with the fact that my laptop decided to do something incredibly funky and I sure don't mean that in a good way. The power on button stuck and it wouldn't boot up so I'm going to have to really nurse it along for a while. I received an offer last week that I have only looked at today .. well I peeked .. I would get so angry and then just give up kind of thing .. LOL. Well I looked at it and I swear my blood pressure went through the roof and NOT in a good way! I'm absolutely beyond furious. I realize that it won't do me any good long term .. however .. it's just how I feel and it will pass. Plus to boot I have anxiety over dealing with a principle over personality kind of thing at the moment within the meeting and I really don't know if I want to go or not. The only issue is I promised a new comer I would be there with another woman .. LOL .. sooooo .. I'm thinking I swear if you don't show I will hunt you down and I do know where this person resides!
OMGOSH do I have some court stories for you guys .. ROFLMAO!! Mediation really turned the tide of a few things and that REALLY made me LOL! For some reason I really believe that the date that the divorce will be done is May 2014. I don't know why and that seems like a long time it's really not. In the mean time I keep the status quo on money and on insurance which is a good thing. I STILL have the EOP, I STILL am doing what I need to do in that regard. STBAX hasn't seen the kids for 4 1/2 months it blows my mind and now I REALLY think he's in a panic to look good during the holidays. All of a sudden he's in a hurry to get it all done and he's trying to screw me big time. I'm not going to allow it and neither is my HP. There is really something big coming that date because it keeps coming back to that .. sooo we'll see.
There is a current issue of parking tickets coming in my name that will be resolved or there will be a HUGE issue that way. I'm gearing up for a large fight and I'm ready .. I just know he doesn't know how ready I am. I'm trying to reign in my will .. my will is my will and I know this .. however .. ugh .. timing is everything.
It's been a hard day today .. and thankfully it's only 24 hours and has the opportunity to get better starting now. I'm def trying to refocus and keep it about me. I've been doing a new therapy that has been absolutely knock out amazing!! The changes I have been experiencing and how fast they have come with alanon and AA .. even my therapist has been saying .. your STBAX doesn't know what he's unleashed and I laugh and say yup .. pretty much.
Obviously it's not all perfect however it's really more great than not. This week has been more of a struggle than normal .. that's ok .. it's going to be like that and then it's going to pass.
Hugs S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
