The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am working on step 4 with my sponsor and find this to be a very difficult but interesting experience. There are 2 people I carry anger, resentment, and fear toward, and one person anger and resentment for. I am finally able to want to get rid of all of this "junk". In the past, I have been afraid to let go of it. I have believed it would make me more vulnerable to them. Like maybe forget the horrible things they have done to me. But I realize now I will NEVER forget what they have done to me. And I will NEVER like what they have done. And they may try to do some of it again! But I have asked HP to lift these negative emotions from my heart and mind. There is no reason to carry anger, resentment, and fear, day to day, when I truly cannot control anything any of these people do. And I am feeling more positive in general. I like myself. I'm proud of myself for the focus I am giving to this program. My sister started going in CA ! I can have a good rest of my life no matter what the addicts around me are doing. Amen, Lyne
Masterful Lyne...you're going after it, working it and it reminds me of how I was taught to do it. I worked the 4th the way the book suggested it....searching...fearless...moral and continued to do it until I found the tap root of all of my character defects. That was a big day and when I turned it in to my sponsor it had only one word on the page "ego" and he read it and then asked me..."ok what do you do now"? I had learned that ego can be the acronym for Easing God Out and because my sponsor was working with me on what we called the opposites of me...those quality characteristics I wanted to have and keep; we turned "ego" around to "oge"...offering God entry. (simple program). I had the resentments and the opposite of resentment is forgiveness and I surely had anger for which the opposite for me is acceptance and the final one...the lesson on fear which came just a couple of years ago working with my HP because that early sponsor had passed away? the opposite of fear is love. I cannot fear what I love and will not love what I fear. Take your time on this forth step journey cause it is awesome and soooo valueable. I got to discover the one person I had lived my entire life with and didn't know anything about....me. Great post. Listening to what comes next. ((((Hugs))))
When I read your share, I thought of the three A's (hold the jokes) I mean awareness, action and acceptance. What a great outcome to be able to leave the actions of others right where they belong, with them and changing what you can, yourself. The 4th and 5th steps are such big action steps. The Serenity Prayer if worked earnestly pretty much sums it up. Thanks for sharing about your 4th step work. Best wishes for Step 5. Good new about sis too! Hugs TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
I mean awareness, action and acceptance. What a great outcome to be able to leave the actions of others right where they belong, with them and changing what you can, yourself. The 4th and 5th steps are such big action steps. The Serenity Prayer if worked earnestly pretty much sums it up. Thanks for sharing about your 4th step work. Best wishes for Step 5. Good new about sis too! Hugs TT