The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello April I agree with ild. It is a process and if you have gotten to the place where you have become willing to turn your will an life over then you certainly can work a 4th Step
We are working on the 4th Step on the Step work Board You can visit there to get an idea, share if you like and then i would suggest you work with your sponser to continue
Well I completed step 1. It was harder than I thought I never thought I had any control over my A, but I realized I was trying to control some aspects of his illness without even knowing I was doing it and I was trying to control many other things in life by trying to influence others decisions. Admitting I only have control over me wasn't easy mainly because I didn't realize I was trying to control. Now I'm looking at steps 2 and 3 and I don't really know what to do with them. I turned my life over to a HP as a child. Although I have faced many insane situations my HP is all that maintained my personal sanity. I know my HP is in control and its out of my hands. I know he wont bring me to it if he couldn't bring me threw it. My HP and my faith is all that has kept me functioning because I know I will always wind up exactly where he wants me as long as I live by his word. My faith is the one part of me that has always been strong. So I don't know if I go on to step 4 or if their is another way to interpret the steps in which I should work them in some way. Guess I will do some more reading and ponder on it a while. Either way its a beautiful day here the sun is shining and it will be a good day. Hope you all have a wonderful, blessed day.
One thing I've learned about working the steps is that I work the first 3 steps every single day. I am a Christian and I thought that working the first 3 steps would be easy but they actually require a commitment on my part to let go and let God and know, really KNOW in my heart, that HP will! Will come through for me, will put me on a path of peace and serenity when I search for it, will carry me when I am weak, etc. I think for a long time, I kinda knew this stuff, but I never really felt it. So, when it comes to the first 3 steps, I think they are always there with us and need to be in practice every day.
As for step 4, I really worked that one with a sponsor. Step 4 took me longer and took a lot of introspection and getting over a lot of denial about myself and who I was and who I am. Some of it good, some of it not so good, LOL! If you don't have a sponsor, I suggest finding one at meetings and asking for their help in working the steps. I only talk to my sponsor once a week but it's enough for me to keep me in check, especially on weeks when I am ready to move forward and tackle the next step in my program. So glad you are here, Farmerswife, this is a great place of support and I do hope you hold tight to your HP as you work through your program!
Thank you for your open reply ilovedogs, I to am Christian my relationship with God has always been every day that part don't really seem like work to me because its always been that way its more of an escape for me because my peace and serenity comes from him cant really explain it but for as long as I can remember I've felt his presence no matter what my situation I always felt him with me, the powerless will take daily work because I didn't realize how much I was trying to control. Must say love, love your name I rescue shelter dogs and I have 11 of them :)
Only once did I think that I had to "do" the steps once and then our disease taught me that the "once" would have no end to it. It is now "living" the steps as ILD has mentioned. I am not a practicing Christian as I once was. That has changed for the better since I started going step for step with HP. Try incorporating the steps into your life; what you think and how, how you feel about and see life around you and your part in it...with and without HP. Work them into every aspect of your daily life and see how things change for the better. Keep coming back...((((Hugs))))
The Steps to me are not a linear progression, as Jerry has said it is by incorporating them into my daily life that they work. I have Step One moments every day, I have to remember to take a deep breath and step back and that most things in my life are not in my control, only me and my attitude to what happens. Being by nature a rescuer and 'control freak' that is difficult so Steps One through Three have to be part of my daily life routine if I am to remain sane!
Step Four was a great challenge, by working it with a sponsor it became easier and I was better able to evaluate those things that were holding me back. Of course that changes too, I am re visiting my Step Four at the moment, I can see improvement in some areas (Progress not Perfection) but also can see that as my self - honesty improves gradually I still have a long journey to rid myself of character traits that prevent me from achieving the Peace and Serenity I seek. It is a journey for life, I still take many wrong turns but patience is the key.
