The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well I am thinking a lot.....about how I can explain my life with my alcoholic (mostly to myself)..........It starts with getting a puppy, you fall head over heels in love with this thing even though it is hard (it pees on the floor, it does inappropriate things, it keeps you up all night for no reason, it drives you nuts) but it is also fun and there are lots of good times with his puppy. As time goes on you start to notice that your puppy is not like all the other puppies in the dog park, sometimes it walks funny and you start to worry, but then it acts normal again (but you still worry) so you take it to the vet one day. The vet tells you..........this puppy is not like all the other puppies, it has a disease called hip displaysia.....a genetic disease that cannot be cured, but with treatment, the puppy will get better............ the vet goes on to say that some puppies (even with treatment will never get better) and you may want to think very hard if you really want this puppy in your life, or it may be better not to. The thing with puppies is that they wiggle their way into your heart and it is very hard to make a decision. BUT if you do nothing........it will get worse. If you are going to keep this puppy, educate yourself so you know what may happen. You don't want the puppy to grow into a dog that will bite you one day!!!!The moral ( I think....... of my story) is that a puppy and a human differ, because you HAVE to help the puppy and do everything for it, in order for it to get it better..........not so with your human..........so don't treat your human like a dog.....let him/her fix themselves. I dunno does that make sense?
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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess)
Makes sense that, like choosing an animal, we don't always know what we're stepping into, can't crawl inside another's head (thankfully no longer want to- what was I thinking!), and can't predict outcomes. I can also see where the analogy can be helpful in remaining kind in very challenging situations, not taking things personally, not beating ourselves up to find out "why", not staying stuck in denial, etc.
However, working the program allows me to become as centered as possible, where it is less about the puppy, or less about the A, etc. and more about me and my choices.
Animals teach us so many things about life and about ourselves; there are always some boundaries and I've learned to be grateful for whatever good shows up on a given day, rather than having more rigid expectation. Working Alanon in all my affairs has also improved my relationship with my beloved animal friends; shows that the language of self-honesty, setting boundaries yet giving enough space for living and let live is universal. I've taken care of various animal injuries and illnesses- something that my loved ones could not do for themselves. When a horse suddenly went blind and then refused to eat, the owners were ready to put him down; I was able to teach him confidence and how to cope- how to find the barn, how to find his hay and water... it was his choice to use the knowledge and tools and it was also by the grace of God.
