The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I had the strangest feeling tonight to go outside. There is a long story there but short version we used to hang out outside, laugh, talk, drink beer, as in a normal amount, just be us. After the ASO started drinking a lot as in 12-18 a night and I started codependant behavior I remember him telling me some awful things out there, since I have avoided the patio which used to be a fun social place.
So, the answer from HP tonight is.
The more listening we do to our HP, the more we hear about our true self. We have to chose, then, do we continue to allow being dishonored and abused by the destructive voices of another? I am glad you chose the loving voice of your HP.
-- Edited by PP on Wednesday 6th of November 2013 08:08:05 AM
Thank you. I have heard I deserve no friends I deserve no love I deserve no life. And I just sat there, cowering, crying. But its not true. This is so crazy its simply not true.
Good grief! Of course it isn't true and yes it is so crazy what we hear and take in until one day - we don't anymore. Sounds like you reached that point? You won't take those lies in anymore?
I am so glad you recognized the truth. You helped me several months ago with an observation you'd made and shared. Because of that, I'm more than happy that you did have that epiphany - a streak of light in a dark stream of ugly words.
A sober abuser does it to feel empowered, to tear down their victim to the point they are in total control, and it makes them feel better themselves (their own demons they fight). This I know. But I am not sure why an alcoholic does it, the ones who do not do this sober only when drunk, maybe for the same reasons. I am not sure, but it is never true. The words are never true. I found (in the past and now) if I have to question it, or if it sounds odd or doesnt sound like me, there is an abuser talking.
None the less words hurt, good for you for taking control of you!
__________________
Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.
It's amazing when you finally realise that all of those horrible things they say just aren't true.