Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.

Wisdom67 · Senior Member

Is Alaon really teaching

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Good Evening Wisdom

I am sorry that you must still endure this insanity on a regular basis . I began to think about whet alanon has taught me and I must say it was all good.

I learned that it was my responsibility to take care of myself. I can do that by making sure that did not get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired. I learned to live one day at a time, leaving the past in the past and not to project into the future, and to trust a Higher Power. In addition I learned to treat myself and others with courtesy and respect.

I believe those were all great constructive lessons.

I hear you are gaining the same wisdom and becoming a Miracle in Progress. Keep on keeping on

-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 5th of November 2013 11:56:11 PM

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Rosemary: I can remember when you first starting posting. You were crying in a parking lot one day as I recall in grave distress. I don't hear grave distress in this post. I hear someone who wants to live free of abuse and constant criticism. I'd say you have come a long way!!!! Keep on keepin' on, sister!!!!

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

The A's disease feels threatened when we start taking care of ourselves, so it will try many manipulations and lies to prevent us from developing a healthier mindset.

Keep showing up for yourself and doing the next right thing- whatever that means to you at the time. It's a good reminder for me to do the same for myself.

In support.

mm830 · Senior Member

You are fine its his disease that says all this nonsense since the disease doesn't want anyone or anything to stop its destruction. You know that, we have no power over this insane disease but we can see it in the light and know its just a very sick person telling us very sick things. I will pray for you and your family, he is a very sick person right now.

milkwood · ~*Service Worker*~

I hear you standing tall in your post Rosemary, you've come a long way

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

This is a man I will not do anything else for . I am ending this marriage I do not need the aggravation any more . I'm done with him .

I Tryed to save something I new from day one it was impossible to save but I gave it a chance . He has put nothing on the table I want !! I will walk away . He has nothing I want .

*******************

WOW...finally Rosemary is saving her own a*** and being her own best friend.......HP helps those who reach out and help themselves.....and yes, i dont see him offering you ANYthing but stress and continued drama....

if you decided to and do the leaving of him, yea, it may be tough, adjusting at first, but think of the PEACE your nerves and your whole BODY will feel......less stress.....less drama......u will be amazed at the PEACE of ending a toxic, train wreck of a relationship......

I wouldn't say this if he was in active recovery, working his butt off to save himself so he CAN be a good partner for you, but i see nothing in his behaviour that says "hey I want help...I am in AA now and will commit to it for life" i don't see that

some relationships are a train wreck...a disaster.....been there...done that....now i can look back and thank my God of my understanding for enabling me to get out and i look back w/gratitude I am no longer EVER going to be abused....treated like crap...used.......its OVER for me....

good for you....standing up and deciding to be your OWN best friend.....

-- Edited by neshema2 on Wednesday 6th of November 2013 10:17:18 AM

Ness · ~*Service Worker*~

Your husband will be noting the change in you and probably not liking what he sees, the fear of being abandoned to his disease won't be suiting him hence all the ''duck quacking

Lots of clarity and growth in your posts

Keep strong, first things first.......you smile

In support

Ness

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

I think you've come a long ways Rosemary.

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

You are doing great....so much stronger.

sad_dog_mommy · Veteran Member

An alcoholic who doesn't want things to change will bad mouth anything they deem to be causing change. They will irrationally assign blame to friends, family, co-workers, police, employer, therapist or a support group such as AlAnon. My ABF says AlAnon is a cult. That the pamphlets are propaganda and all they do is teach me ways to break up with him. I have learned to tune him out when he speaks to me like that because I know that I have found a little peace through the program.

Be true to yourself and know that if you feel better attending AlAnon meetings then you are doing what is best for YOU.

Iwantthingsback · Senior Member

I dont know your whole situation; I have read some posts from you If you choose to leave and want to, and are having a hard time with it there are support groups (if you cannot go to therapy) out there that help with just that! Getting fed up is a start, knowing what you want is another and doing the deed is another. YOU will know when it is time and you WILL find the means to leave, it is this burst of energy that comes from within.

Good for you for looking out for you!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.