The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today I am grateful I'm alive and healthy and my AH is SOBER. I'm grateful for my children and grateful for taking action on my life and turn my life over to my HP who is my god. The day I had my true vision on how my HP wanted me to learn the right way live , he has been waiting for me to finally give up my life that was unmanageable and accepted all my shame and guilt and my character defects in return to change my life for the better and will guide me threw the worst times and never leave me. With this new hope and guidance he gave me freedom from all shame and pity and denial I was always carry around with me . He took that all away from me and thank god the burden is gone. I don't need to hide and lie and not show my emotions any more. If I want to cry or laugh I don't always have to have a reason or explain it. Me being a people pleaser and always looking for acceptance took up half of my life now it's my time to let that co dependent part of me take a break for a while and live me life ODAT in the present day not the past or future. I don't have a crystal ball I can't tell you what lies a head only what is happing now and I can live with that. I do still isolate but it's not from ppl or escape from reality , it's for me to self help me my time to get to know me and pray and meditate . This is a must thing to do if I want to get healthy and better this is how I cope today. I changed my old negative coping skills that were getting me no where all it did was take up time I could of used by reading and time with family.
today I have tools and support from my fellowship to keep me in check when I start to fall off track. This morning when I woke up I said for me to accept and change I need to look in the mirror to see me and accept me for who I am . I know who I am . My name is rosemary I am a mother and a wife and a beautiful woman who has a lot to live for . I see my face a pretty smile not the face I could never see because it hid behind lies shame and guilt . I am not perfect not always right but far from being dumb. I took all my mirrors out of my closet and wipe them all down and seen me!! Know cracks it's a new mirror a reflection of a woman with a positive attitude and strong and loves this new chance to start over the right way . THIS is a healthy woman who is willing to learn and change anything that needs to be changed to be happy and some day share my story of hope and strength and wisdom to others as I improve to. I make the time to pray and meditate and look in the mirror and say your beautiful your smart you have self worth your strong and positive and promise myself to be kind to me today and only I can make my day happy . I have to say I feel DAM good to finally understand that I chose my path I chose my way of life and have god with me at all times to keep me on the road to recovery . HECK I'm gonna have my days of pity but those will be the day I pray on it and accept I'm not perfect . I thank my fellowship for all there positive in put and show me what I never seen. Today I trust myself and my judgement and that allows me to trust others . Today I'm free!!!!
I like that you changed your name too, it shows a new level of recovery in you. I too thought about changing my name after I first came in, as I did not feel "overcome" with my problems like i did when I first arrived. For me, however, I just decided to change the 'focus' of my name and capitalized it with "Overcome" and a new meaning... "I can overcome all things through my Higher Power who strengthens me." Now there is even a song out with my nickname in it by Mandisa, called "Overcomer"!
http://youtu.be/b8VoUYtx0kw
With your original "nick" being MsCodependent, I can see why you would want to change your focus with an entirely new name. Congratulations t o your new level of Recovery!
Overcome
-- Edited by Overcome on Friday 1st of November 2013 11:26:14 PM
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I can Overcome all things through my HP who strengthens me.
(((((Rosemary)))))!! you are another miracle now. I read your post and the grand emotions catch in my throat. I remember when I arrived at where you are at now. I remember thinking "Free at last, Free at last...thank God I'm free at last". I love miracles and the hope they always bring and your post brought that again. Keep coming back home (((((hugs)))))
Wow, great stuff Rosemary. Simply fabulous.
Fabulous name change as well - btw my godmother's name was Rosemary, one of the most special and beautiful women in my life. It's a lovely name!
I love the idea of a caterpillar weaving a cacoon and then turning into a butterfly. This is what reading your shares reminds me of Rosemary. Thanks for sharing. So glad you are here!
Well I decided to change my name and start over. 
