The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
HI Barbara, for me I realized I had serenity when the A was horrible, did not come home, and my gut did not hurt.
I could relax, enjoy the peace, make a good meal and watch a movie.
I had learned to put the A in hp's hands and go on my path.
For me it is a foundation. No matter what goes wrong, I still feel this hope and faith that no matter what,everything will be ok, even if my gut does hurt, and I am crying.
I can be late on my mortgage, renters don't pay, A is sick or a butt, someone or something dies, there is this feeling inside me that knows hp will take care of me.
It is so freeing to really put your life in Hp's hands cuz it works, no question. I honestly am not even surprised anymore. I know even if it is not what I thought I wanted, hp takes care of everything.
To me serenity just means an inner calm. A sense that no matter what happens or what the day, this life or someone els throws at me things will be okay, maybe different but okay.
The easiest way for me to sum it up for me is;
The living room is trashed with toys, the little guy is stuffing the toilet up with something, teenagers are fighting owver who gets the car, there are more teenagers raiding the refrigerator, the washing machine is off balance, the dog is chasing the cat, my hubband is screaming for something, one of the younger kids is asking me to play CandyLand while the other is asking me to help with his homework.There is a bill collector on the phone. I haven't had time to make dinner and I am running late to get back to work. When I'm feeling serene I can still smile and consider myself fortunate to be surrounded by these people I love, I can feel lucky that I am alive to be experience all of this chaos, fortunate that there are toys, and food for the kids to ravage. I can tell the bill collector that I will get back to him when I can, call and order a Pizza, wade through the toys and head to work, without flipping out. I can know that the mess will be there later, to clean up, or hope the kids or my hubsand will clean it before I get back. I can know that none of this is the end of the world and everything will be alright.
I haven't totally gotten there yet, but thatnks to my program, I flip out a whole lot less, and smile a whole lot more.
