The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm writing this because I need to tell somebody. I will not get involved, I will not rescue my son, I will not call for help. He made his choice and I will not project the outcome anymore.
Let go Let God.......
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
My 'qualifier" is my daughter, so I share your pain. Sometimes I literally have to sit on my hands to not interfere. In fact, her screamed parting words to me on January 22, 2013 were : "STOP INTERFERING IN MY LIFE" That day, I called the local crisis center, who, thank God, directed me to an Al-Anon meeting. As so many others have said, it saved my life. I have learned (not easily) that I am walking my path, and she is walking hers.I sometimes still wake up during the night in a panic, but try to start chanting my mantra of "let go and let God"
Cathy the world didn't end when I detached from my alcoholic/addict son. It gave me a chance to watch God work instead of me and HP does good work!! Still detached from my son in his relapse; life is still good and HP is still here. Let go; let God. ((((hugs))))
Cathy very true let go and let god. As you know my son is back from the recovery ranch I moved him into my rental and he has completely distance himself because he is now talking to his baby's mom and he now says that I make his life complicated. He says some rude stuff to me but yet he is working his program. His baby's mom puts so much in my sons head, but it's his life and I need to stay out of it. It kills me because he hurt me in so many ways not just me but the whole family and I am now the one he hurts with words. I pray because I seen and lived the bad the good and as mothers we will not give up on our children. It just kills me so much because the first two weeks we were close and went to church communicated every day and now with this young girl back in his life it's F U mom (well that's how I'm taking it) your the sick one with co dependency. Well I admit maybe I am, but it's because I want to guide him to learn the be responsible and live on his own, but I have to prepare myself for anything and just pray that I can learn to stay on my side and let him live. What thanks I get. I'm not asking for nothing from him but respect and church together. But even when things are good for our love one we have saved many times over and over some way we lose them again. Many prayers. Let's let go an let god. I'm right with you. I fear that if things go bad with this girl he will go back out there. I can only pray and be prepared ;)
Thank you guys.....just a little insurance that I need to keep me on the right side of the street. I will not feel guilty if anything should happen. I can't let what my son does take me down anymore. I will not go there. I will pray for my sanity and light my candles.
I will go to my meeting tonight and get some f to f in.....
I will go shopping this weekend for some cute outfits to take with me to my sisters for Thanksgiving. Want to be looking good ya know. Yeah Paula....I'm getting excited now. I hope they will be at the river so we can do some boating. But in turn I will have to do the bar hopping on the boat ( my sister and BIL are drinkers ) . I won't mind the gambling stop though
WOW.....a whole week just playing and enjoying what I want to do.. I can hardly wait.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Keep busy Cathy, keep bringing it her,e, up your meetings,, do what you need to do for you,, it doesn't take much for the obsession to build when fear creeps in.....practice practice practice......have faith that you will be ok.
Take your trip ( not that Im telling you what to do)!!
I totally understand that. <3 We have been conditioned so much and for so long to always be the caretaker and everyone else's needs and life are more important than our own. Believe me, I undestand that feeling. :( However, we sooooooooooooooo can't allow ourselves to be made so sick and unhappy by the A's behaviors. I know it's hard to watch them stumble and fall. I know it's hard not to just swoop in and help.
ya know. Yeah Paula....I'm getting excited now. I hope they will be at the river so we can do some boating. But in turn I will have to do the bar hopping on the boat ( my sister and BIL are drinkers ) . I won't mind the gambling stop though