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I am experiencing fear of having to attend court and testify againt the ex-alcoholic. Back in May 2013 he abused me badly and is now in jail. Trial has been set for Dec 16-18, 2013. I have all kinds of fears going through my mind. What if he gets off and is set free? What if, what if if..I know I do not know what the future holds but fear is gripping me. I am also having memories of what he did to me come back to me again. I hate what he did and I feel torcherd again. I am filled with anxiety and fears again! I know I need to pray about it and let it go, but its hard to..knowing the enivable is to happen! Reliving the nightmare all over again this time in public! I feel such mixed of emotions, from anger to fear to feeling sorry for the alcoholic. I just want this nightmare to end! I can only pray about it and let it go! I feel like crying again as it seems overwelming to me again! I need to stay stong! Any words of wisdom would help!
When I read your share. The thought of projecting outcomes comes to mind. Live for today. Deal with the court date when that day comes. Work on your program and do the things you need to do today to help you with recovery. Distract the mind and put it to work on other things. What can you do right now? Take a walk? Call your sponsor (if you have one) or find a meeting to attend. When the day comes be a strong and a healthier you. You are not alone. Keep coming back and sharing.
In love and support
M
I am so very sorry that you have experienced this painful event in your life. Alanon meetings, and alanon calls should help you feel supported and connected. I would also check with the police department and see if they have a "Victim Advocate" that you may speak with. This might truly help you address your fear and feel comfortable at court time
I wish I could give you a big hug right now. The trauma has been intense.....
The good thing is...He is L O C K E D up right now and cannot harm you.
Just take time to breathe today...you've been through a whole lot. You are here with us.
We never can see the future, but it's always good to have a "Plan B" to never see this person again and start living for you.
What are some steps you can take?
There are women's shelters. Maybe a short-term move. I'm not sure if it's allowed, but express your feelings in writing if you're allowed to in court so you can make your point clear on how great your fear is.
I went through a different type of trauma and go see a psychologist, Have you seen one?....luckily, the one I have is amazing...like the friend I needed. The fact that I go does not mean I'm nuts. It just means I've dealt with a hundred things at once and need a bit of help deciding what next step to take. But I was not well when I first walked in. Now I'm better. Keep coming back...psychs will also send you to Al-anon
(((((Joker))))) a quiet place and quiet time with your HP to do a inventory of your past as a victim of abuse and assault. Look at the inventory as if you are looking at the inventory of another person and combine the emotions. Look at the different consequences of "If I do and If I don't" and see which ones bring you to more peaceful and serene places and then use my prayer conversation with my HP as you wish. "Place me where you want me...tell me what to do". For me the greatest confidence I have in doing anything is knowing that it is in the will of HP. RoseODAT offers a great acronym for FEAR and I think I'll use it also. Mine helps me also. False Evidence Appearing Real means that my head dreams up possibilities and my body, mind, spirit and emotions react as if they are real...they are not. You only get consequences after you do or don't do a thing. Pick the consequence that best fits and do the thing to get it. Standing with you as an Al-Anon brother, MIP brother and a former Alternatives to Violence Men's case manager. I apologize to you for the abuses where he has not. It should not have happened and it was wrong for any woman, past, present and future to be victim to that disease. In support. (((((Hugs)))))
(((Joker))) I can relate. Staying present and in the moment is challenging, to say the least, and I find that it is too overwhelming to do this alone. Thankfully, Alanon helps. You've received great support from the others. Focusing on the 12 steps, strengthening my relationship with HP help put the focus on myself and the things that I can change.
