The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I can see a little more clearly today. I was angry for a short time on Sunday. Stared at the A while he spoke gibberish and the whole time I don't think I heard one word he actually said.My mind was busy picking up some of my tools and planning. Funny part was most of the planning was already there. I had said all I needed to say already and now was the time to follow through. I wasn't punishing me or him. Just as the same I follow through on the discipline of my kids. Eerie actually. I am sad and remind myself of the grieving process. When I can put things into perspective I feel calm. Tonight I hold my recovery program close. The internal boundary to not allow myself to become twisted up in the insanity. I have explained that he has two choices. One is to leave and to let us stay in the home and the house can remain in his name and he just pays the mortgage or two put $$ in my account as is calculated by the justice department. Boy did that ever feel empowering. I'm following through and I won't give up on me. It's time for change and it has to be me. I will trust my HP. I will love me enough to say this is enough. The disease is the disease. I know I will not get better if I keep letting him continue with the affair. He will just get more sneaky and manipulative. I no longer wish to play this part over and over again. I broke the replay button. Time for peace. To end the affair I'm ending the relationship. It is not my problem anymore. Now how did I allow her trash on my
(((M))) When we get to the end of what we'll tolerate, we find a brand new life beckoning to us.
oh yea, agree w/grateful......we end what we take anymore...thus freeing us from the negativity and new things and good things begin to happen b/c we are not focusing on the negative, unhappiness ...........u r a strong lady.....u stated your boundaries, the consequences if they are broken and u are standing to the boundaries....now that is program in action
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
This morning I pray for strength and courage to face my fears, wisdom and knowledge to acknowledge them and learn to let go of all things I can not control. I was truly humbled this morning by what gift I received upon waking up. A simple compliment from the mother of A. I humbly thank my God for this. It was part of the process of letting go of what others would think of my decision. A simple tap on the shoulder and the whispering "everything will be okay". I have seen you struggling my child. I also went to church with the little one this past Sunday and could feel the grace of God. It was simply only me that stood in the way of going back after I became pregnant. How silly. The only person that needed to forgive me was me. I felt great joy in teaching Sunday school. I have missed them so. My gratitude list is growing.
Thank you for all of your support. Your experiences, shares and hopes have been truly soul saving.
M
. A simple tap on the shoulder and the whispering "everything will be okay". I have seen you struggling my child. I also went to church with the little one this past Sunday and could feel the grace of God. It was simply only me that stood in the wayof going back after I became pregnant. How silly. The only person that needed to forgive me wasme. I felt great joy in teaching Sunday school. I have missed them so. My gratitude list is growing. Thank you for all of your support. Your experiences, shares and hopes have been truly soul saving. M
Dear Mari
Thank you so very much for such a profound message.
Keep on listening to that" still small voice' You are doing great
