"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

brenb2011 · Newbie

Son's Suicide

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Brenda. What a sad, sad experience for you. I'm so very sorry for the heartache you are encountering right now in the death of your son. Others will come on the board to greet you and to comfort you. Please keep coming back and sharing with us. Sending you prayers for comfort and support through this very hard and dark time in your life.

Rose50 · Senior Member

I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words.

(((((hugs)))))

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

(((bremb))

I am so very sorry to hear of the terrible loss of your precious son. My only son Stephen passed away from the disease of alcoholism 6 years ago and I do understand the pain of which you speak.

Please rest, try to eat and be very, very gentle with yourself Alanon face to face meeting will also offer you support at this difficult time

You and your family are in my thoughts

Jen61 · ~*Service Worker*~

I am also sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine your pain.

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

Brenda

I an so very sorry for your loss of your precious son. Please continue to come back and let us all help you though this heartbreaking loss. Many here have lost loved ones due to this devastating disease so you are not alone.

Prayers for you and your family that HP will bring you some peace and understanding

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha BrenB...the sign in suggest you're in Al-Anon and if that's not true I'm sure were you are at has it's fair share of groups. If that is Rhonert Park, CA. I know they do from being there. Alcoholism is a fatal disease and alcohol is a chemical depressant often times the fatality is by the drinkers own hand and it sucks and is sad and we're never ready and then who ever is. I'm glad you came here. This is one of the alcoholic events we are truely powerless over as the first step of our twelve steps speaks of.

I was suicidal myself before I reached the doors of recovery. I have since learned I was never ever remotely alone in that and while I have personally witnessed many suicidal losses I am grateful to have learned the difference between a failed one and a successful one. The failed one would be when I gave up my life and the successful one was when I gave up how I was living it. The program taught me how to change how I was living my life and now I have one I wouldn't give up for anything.

I'm sad with you and glad you are here. Prayers and ((((Hugs)))) smile

Overcome · Senior Member

I too have no words, and can not even begin to imagine the pain you must feel and the loss. I'm glad you found our site though, I'm sure it will be a comfort to you in the days ahead. Prayers for you and your other son, during this difficult time.

Overcome

nal · Senior Member

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs.

wp · ~*Service Worker*~

So sorry, Bren.
You're welcome to attend alanon meetings here at mip any time.

wp

canadianguy · ~*Service Worker*~

Words never seem like enough in these situations Brenda, but I offer you condolences for your loss and your pain. Your son is a very unfortunate story of how dangerous & insidious this disease really is, and I applaud your courage in reaching out on here.

Hope you keep coming back

Tom

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear one, Sadly I have been where you are too many times.

I can tell you, for me to keep things as simple as i could is what I learned to do. Meaning stick to basics. Survival. Make sure you eat well, drink water, be good to yourself. If you need to nap, nap. If you need to eat ice cream, eat it. Don't be afraid to ask for hugs. Be so kind and gentle to yourself. Put flowers where you can see them. Always have fresh sheets. Make yourself as comfortable as you can. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Even the most easy things can be overwhelming. It will take the time it does for you to feel like living again. Let yourself feel what you Crying is important. If your tears start falling let them, don't apologise. I would get lost in books, movies. I might go to as friends and just sit on the couch or nap. Just to be where you do not feel alone.

Everything in your life is not far. This throws you off balance and is so very painful. I have to just accept the pain, take the depression, feel it out. If you need to go to doc and get something to help you thru the hardest, that is ok.

this is the most horrible thing to go thru. Please be so tender with yourself. Said with love,debilyn

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear Brenda

I am soo soo sorry for your loss....speachless as to what to say to you except please come back and join us in this community......we are listening if you want to talk

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

Brenda,

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'm glad you found MIP and posted- you're in the right place. Sending prayers to comfort you and your family.

John · ~*Service Worker*~

Tears welled in my eyes as I read your post. My heart goes out to you for the lose of your son and the terrible sadness it brings into your life. Please, please, do come back here often and allow us to be a part of your healing process. You are valued and needed here, and we would absolutely love to embrace you as you go down this road of grieving.

John

mm830 · Senior Member

Very sad for your loss, sending some love and support. I cannot imagine even having a fraction of this pain.

milkwood · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear Brenda,

I am so sorry for the devastating loss that you must be feeling, like the others here I hope that we can offer some support and I also hope that you reach out as much as you need in your own community as well - I think that you will find that there are many who will be very willing to support you while you grieve.

I've seen friends who have used denial as an alternative way of dealing with such difficult situations. Where to begin? You've been through so much and I hope that you can gift your body with rest and self love. You have reached out to this community and we are all sending you love, support and the best understanding that we can muster.

Sending loving ((((((hugs)))))) to you and your son.

tiredtonite · Member

I just want to welcome you and tell you how sorry I am hear about the loss of your son. I haven't lost a child but some of my friends have. When the pain seems unbearable or you want to share memories, this has been a good place to share. When I lost my mother last year I wanted to work through grief with my brother and keep her memories alive. He wasn't open to that. I was told in my grief group that everyone grieves in their own way. It feels like another loss in a way but I accept it. Your son may still be in shock over the loss of his brother. It hasn't been very long since he died. Please take good care of yourself. What I liked about going to a grief group for support was that we were separated into small groups according to who we had lost. I thought that was good. I can offer you my sympathies but only another person who has lost a child can truly understand. It's helped when I've needed it along with Alanon as I grieve my mom. You and your sons are in my prayers. TT

afglin · Senior Member

Many communities have suicide support groups. I hope you can find one and attend.

LIN

Mari1978 · Senior Member

(((Brenda)))

So sorry to hear of your loss.
Please keep coming back.
Your family is in my prayers
M

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

I am so sorry for your loss...I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. You are well supported here, please come back.

Ness · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear Bren, my sincerest condolonces on the loss of your son.

My son died 2 years ago of this hateful disease.

I understand the physical pain you speak of, my doctor explained this was because my body was flooded with adrenalin....the 'fight or flight' response to trauma & stress.

Take care of yourself, I forced myself to eat and did feel better, physically, if I did

Sleep/rest when your body wants to.

Are you in Al-anon, can you talk it out there? Grief can be a lonely place, even within families......everyone processes it in different ways, denial is perhaps the only way your other son can cope for the moment.

Glad you reached out, you are not alone

Keep coming back

In support

Ness xx

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Hello and welcome . I am so sorry for your loss I cannot imagine the pain your in right now . (hugs) so happy you found us and posted here to day you picked the right place to share what your going thru . I hope you will find a Al-Anon meeting for yourself , so that you can find some understanding of your sons disease and the support you need to come to terms with what has happened in your family. Unfortunatley suicide is common when dealing with alcoholism , some just find it too hard to live in their disease. Praying you find some understanding . Louise

RoseODAT · Senior Member

My sincerest condolences;
This posting is all too real :(
There really are no words, but whatever you feel to say, please do as you wish....

Please keep coming back here in this difficult time, this is a very kind, very REAL group of people we have here.

yanksfan51 · ~*Service Worker*~

Brenda-

Condolences for your loss. Prayers and thoughts for you and your family

YF

brenb2011 · Newbie

Thank you all for your support I appreciate your kindness

bijela · Veteran Member

:( OMG! I am so sorry. :( Suicide is an awful way to lose somebody. My heart goes out to you. <3

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"