The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have never ever went away by myself on a holiday. But this year I'm going to go see my sister in CA for Thanksgiving. Leaving my SO and my son alone to fend for themselves. I'm feeling bad about it but why should I. I have spent so many Thanksgivings either without them or drunk or mad or whatever. Thanksgiving has not been very pleasant for the past few years so I thought...do what you want to do Cathy.
So off I will go....
PS: little scared to tell them my plans
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
You are taking care of you! And of course unfamiliar things feel funny the first time -- but I bet you will have fun.
Consider also that it sounds like they have "left" you during many previous holidays. People claim that being there in body is being "really" there, but those who are abandoned know better. Often it is lonelier being with someone who has checked out than being actually by yourself. So it sounds to me as if they started the holidays apart -- now you are taking care of yourself in the face of it.
Love Paula's response! I've done this before and not felt guilty about it. I cooked AH a turkey dinner the weekend before so he had leftovers and he was fine. Quite frankly, I think he prefers to be alone because he gets to drink when I'm gone. Hope you have a wonderful trip!
By all means go see your sister and enjoy thanksgiving with her...don't even think about it make your reservations today....there is no reason to feel bad, none at all...
in support og
__________________
Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
That's great! I love it- enjoy. The fear will certainly be released after you let them know. And like taking out the garbage, let the guilt leave with the fear. Keep it simple. This is what I'm doing this year. I hope you have a wonderful time!
Leaving my SO and my son alone to fend for themselves. I'm feeling bad about it but why should I.
PS: little scared to tell them my plans
why NOT go???? why do we always think we gotta NOT have some fun and let the alkies and others fend for themselves???? I am so glad u decided to do this......
as to telling them??? if u don't want to, you dont' need to......remeber J A D E
I dont' justify, argue, defend OR explain if i don't want to
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Good for you, I don't think I would feel that bad, its about time you had some peace and did something because it was right for you, not everyone else.
((((Cathy)))) I got into recovery one cold dark January.......after I withdrew from Xmas & New Year .......I could just no longer do I, and I didn't...I wrote no cards, bought no presents and cooked nothing..... I was done.....I took to my bed and didn't get up until the 2nd of Jan and knew I had to finally turn the attention on myself because I was at an end.....if I had died I wouldn't have cared.
My A son that Xmas was living in a recovery house but relapsing badly and he phoned up crying in his cups because he didn't receive anything for Christmas, so he relieved his disappointment, anger & misery by shop-breaking, stealing drink and being put in jail.
I hope you take this time away for you, guilt free, you are allowed to tell others how you feel and why you are doing what you are doing (if you feel you have to) and remember what others think of you is none of your business.
I think wives and Mothers are really bad at taking guilt free time out.I have found with practice (& I've practiced quite a bit now) it's quite easy really....& great fun!!
And of course unfamiliar things feel funny the first time -- but I bet you will have fun.