The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It has been a very long time since I last visited this board. My life is like no other. My life is a bit different than most. Please give me the benefit of doubt until you get to know me some. Right now I so would like to be rid of some guilt. I born into a family that was going to have four boys and three girls. The boys and girls were the first group to 'black ball' me. Jump near 60 years later. My younger but the oldest girl now, invited me to a "Werner" side of family for get to gether dinner. In April 2013 I was on my death bed. The medical community abandoned me and harmed me. Please give me the benefit of doubt again. The male and female adults now of the Werner family yelled at me for asking for help back in April. I have not had a phone call from any of them for a very long time. It is a alcohol using family. The youngest male drunk driving killed someone. I am coming back to this board for my own son and his woman friend and life mate, and of course me. Yesterday and today I am in the guip of extreme fatigue... today is not as bad as yesterday. To go to the family thing would be risking an unsafe 60 mile trip one way. I really do not need to feel guilty for not going, don't I.
I've always raised my daughter with "safety first". If something is too risky, then it not doing it seems like a sound decision.
Are you feeling guilty because of how other people think or may think? Or are you feeling guilty because you're not clear regarding your motives? If the former, then the slogan, "what others think of me is none of my business", comes to mind. If the latter, then taking a look inward to see where these feelings are originating may help you release the negativity.
Recovery is a process. The more we work the program, the more it works. Keep coming back.
Welcome back to the board Richard and just for me feeling guilty is a choice...just one choice of feeling. You can feel whatever you want to feel. You can say no and feel happy because you desire to feel happy or you can say no and feel guilty because that is what you've practiced for a long time...kinda like a default situation/feeling. You always get the benefit of the doubt...that is a choice also instead of looking at different ways of seeing things. You've been away from the board for a long time so have missed alot of support and ESH. Today you have another choice chance. Glad you are out of the woods somewhat on the health issue...I'm aged myself and responsible for it. It's not perfect cause I'm not (gave up trying a long time ago when I got into program) I hook up with my Higher Power and then hook up with others and not try to lead the group and be a member of it. Keep coming back ((((hugs))))
Dang it.. tears... thank you... shaking tears too...thanks. Been completely alone except for nurses at IV infusion center twice a week... be back later when not shaking from first interaction with people... such supportive action... hard to process... bye
((Richard)) Sending prayers for your health, strength, wisdom, and courage. I'd like to add that someone once told me that feelings often lie but facts don't; stick to the facts. Your MIP family is here when you're able to log back on- you're not alone.
