The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I have been distant since my A drank and drove 10 days ago. But I have not been depressed or anxious or any of the old stuff. Tonight I asked her if she could let me know what she is learning in her meetings that she is applying to herself for change? She's been going since May. Well, she got very angry at me and said I agitate her. Also, that I was pressuring her. I thought I could feel some emotion for her if I heard what she is thinking and learning. Maybe then I could draw closer to her. I guess not. I'm still OK with myself. I don't think I did anything horrible to her. It was a sincere effort to have a mature and honest talk. Live and learn. Let go. Life is not according to me. I'm giving myself credit for trying even though it backfired, Lyne
I can understand I know that before alanon I reacted badly when I felt as if someone was testing me or "cross examining me " on a topic. Attending alanon meeting did teach me a more positive way to communicate and share with others.
If I open the conversation, share my truth, what I have learned. the mistakes I have made, I open the door to the other person feeling safe enough to share Also If I share what I have learned and ask is that part of your program? I find that this also a way to encourage communication
It is a process I am glad you are not going into depression over this issue That is growth
Lyne it sounds to me that she felt you were interfering and trying to control her. It's not really on her for you to feel better. Resentment and forgiveness come from you not her. You are powerless over her not you. It's so hard but you can't force closeness. We need to work on it. I am in a similar place with my son. I want to be close but it's a high cost. Im working on letting go of so much it's so hard. Take care.
