The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well they say no news is good news that's not always the truth. I find that to be the calm before the storm. Today I woke up early and looked forward to starting my step work. Things have been on edge here at home . To many dr appt to much time to sit and see how things went wrong and I have no part in it . But the co dependent wants to take the blame and the guilt . This is the weak side of me but I have many more . My A 11 months sober didn't go to work last wed . I asked why he would not tell me . He didn't want to talk about it . When he was ready he talk to me . My husband lost his job . The main bread in the house , he bought me a new car 2 months ago when I said it be a bad choice since we were going thru unsettling times . Plus I didn't want anything that had strings attach to it. He been mean off and on . I questioned maybe a dry drunk but then he snap says he not I don't no what I'm talking about . Stay on my own side stick to my own ppl . Just been very hostile . Went to a self esteem class and I went to the mall . Came home he irate with me and shot me down . So self esteem class did nothing for me. Now I'm getting ready to go to a meeting but think I should stay home. My A just left the house going to the store he said . I am hoping he is not going to buy something he does not need . The drink the disease that caused the problem . I don't no what I should do ! Sounds stupid but I don't know how to support him when he been so not nice to me and I need a meeting . If I go to a meeting I will be selfish to him in his eyes. And if I go I still will feel guilty .
((((Rosemary)))) you already know and you know that you know about you and about him. What you don't know yet is how to incorporate our program of recovery into your life so that it becomes second nature to you. You're still a newbie...get another meeting under your belt and when it's time...another meeting. There is a saying in recovery that "meeting makers make it" and that means we arrive into recovery and it becomes our life regardless of whether the alcoholic drinks or not...stays or not or anything else. This part of your life is about Rosemary you get to love her like you love the alcoholic and more. What do you think it feels like to be loved by you? Have a good meeting...leave the fear at hom. ((((hugs))))
Yes I know this . why I keep looking for my answers when there in front of me I'm not sure I get flustered which makes me feel unsure. I'm at a meeting now and I'm glad , big healthy meeting to end my night is worth it . Thank you jerry
I know this is an unsettling time. I do hope that you decided to attend that meeting.
Meetings,help to break the isolation caused by this disease and offer support, understanding and new tools to members who live with the disease of alcoholism. It is essential to our/your mental health to have this FREE system of support. If he is unemployed alanon is free and so very important to building a healthy wife and mother
Please keep coming here as well. and share on the Step Board it will help
Hello!!! I hope you got to that meeting. Sending out prayers for your peace now. I need it tonight too. You definitely know to do the next right thing... sometimes the simplest things we can do, help the most.... like focus on ourselves and get to those darn meetings. Hahaha. You're important there, whether you know that yet or not.
Your friend, Michelle
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
((Rosemary)) I'm so happy that you went to the meeting and hope that it provided some piece of serenity and comfort for you.
When an addict is active or otherwise having bad thinking, the disease urges them to terminate our recovery, as it is a huge threat to their disease. Listening to his "rationalizations" is listening to his disease talking.
Alanon helps us see ourselves as we are and how our loving HP sees us; much more accurate and wholesome than continuing to see ourselves through the sick eyes of our alcoholic.
Working the program helps address why we readily accept guilt from others or feel guilty for taking care of ourselves. Please know that this is how the disease keeps us in place and at it's disposal for further destruction.
Keep coming back and keep on keeping on- you're doing well as you struggle with some very difficult circumstances.
Rosemary, i agree w/everyone here.........meetings meetings and more meetings....this program is your self preservation.....
I would let him do what he wants and just attach myself to my program and let him go to his own devices.....you cannot do anything w/him or for him, when i realized that this was a "i can only save my own butt" program, i really put it first.....well..HP within AND program.....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
