The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My current avatar reminds me that sometimes I feel like I'm lost in a corn field. I have 2 choices. I can panic or use the brain I have been given to calmly assess the situation and decide to save my energy to finding my way out. After wandering around for a lengthy period of time I become tired and frustrated. This is where I may start to question the reasons why I am lost. Try to find something or someone to blame. It takes time to re wire our brains. It takes patience. I lack patience with myself. This is a defect. So for today I will learn to practice patience with myself.
Great goal. I lack patience with myself too, yet I seem to have a never-ending resevoir when it comes to everyone else...
I pictured myself lost in that corn-field- I would spend hours sitting still thinking up a clever way to get myself out of it...and then find out I only had to walk forward a few feet and I would have been free...lol
Sometimes, I, too, feel lost in the cornfield. It is during those times I have some of the most helpful insights. You never know what might appear in the midst of those husks Take good care and love your commitment to patience for you.
Mari...I don't like the metaphor and my head gets fearful. I either need to rise way above the cornfield so that I can look down to see where I am in relationship to a road or highway or town or stream or I'd start wishing I had a pot to heat up and put some corn in so that I could just "POP" out of there. LOL...only one way to handle it is with the emotion of humor. Does HP do corn field rescues? Try asking. (((hugs)))
I too have felt lost in the"Cornfield" Then I found alanon, HP and came to know that "We never walk alone . I was no longer lost . I can pray, go to a meeting, call a sponsor, come here and connect with those who understand as few others can. HP speaks to me through people
...and sometimes someone appears and takes you by the hand and helps lead you out. I know the relationship with A has been hanging by a thread. Its time to cut and walk away. I was up most of last night feeling stuck and lonely. You know that moment where you look down and someone lifts your chin with their hand and says look around you there is a better way. I reached out to an old friend and was so glad I did. The response made me laugh a good whole hearted laugh. It felt so good to laugh. He always made me laugh...never any expectations...a kindness that just exchanges between two friends who just happen to appear when one or the other seems to have fallen. It never matters how much time passes and we have always respected each others relationship wanting nothing but happiness for each other. Its so good to have a friend like that. I am very lucky. It is now time to get back up and just do what I do best. Be a kind and loving mother and raise them independently as I have always done. Its just time to clear my side of the street and give him back his own stuff. I am trying one day at a time.
Thank you all for your words of wisdom. It helps.
M
Take good care and love your commitment to patience for you.