Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.

Mirandac · Veteran Member

Getting frustrated!!!! :)

Iwantthingsback · Senior Member

I am not going to wait to find the right meeting to get this............. Does anyone know if this is the pack they give at a meeting? I will keep reaching out to find a meeting list but for now I want to get this on order.

Newcomer Packet (K-10) Price: $ 1.40

Welcomes first-timers

Public Outreach

-- Edited by Iwantthingsback on Tuesday 22nd of October 2013 02:57:46 PM

Iwantthingsback · Senior Member

Does anyone know how I can find a list of meetings in my area? I have left 3 messages for the Rochester NY al Anon group and emailed a few times and nothing back.

I looked around online but it keeps taking my back to their phone and email address. All I want is to find a face to face ad getting a little nervous because if no one will get back to me how must the meetings be? The first one attended was not good (all parents of kids who drink no one could relate to my situation and one lady asked why I stayed with an A and why wouldn't I leave etc). I obviously stumbled onto the wrong one but I cant find a list for others..

If it wasnt for all of you on here. Boy I dont know. Thank you! You are all the best

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Maybe contacting the Al-Anon World Service Office for help in getting information for your area? Usually in newcomer packets there is a list of meetings, too. Did you receive a newcomer's packet with that list? If you are acting on the info already received from WSO and didn't get information about other meetings in your area, maybe attending another meeting and asking for a list of meetings there? I'm rather surprised you were asked why you were staying with an A at your first meeting? It could be that that person is also a newcomer and hasn't learned the way things work there yet? I'm also surprised nobody at that meeting could relate to your situation? Many of us with kids who suffer with alcoholism also had parents or spouses with the same disease. Sorry your first meeting wasn't as helpful to you as you'd hoped.

Iwantthingsback · Senior Member

Thanks I will keep looking and no - no beginner pack and I want one so bad!!!!!

LOL ya, I finally got the nerve to go to a meeting and it was horrible! I am sure they could relate in some way but they were not dealing with a spouse so they were dealing with a different situation, I didn't get anything out of it at all=, other than be sad. And I was so mad when that lady said that to me but I just left because I didnt need her bringing out the negative side.

I won't give up tho thanks

Iwantthingsback · Senior Member

I am just confused that the Al anon contacts for me area wont even call or email back? That makes me feel warm and fuzzy :) I will try the world wide one. Thanks

Mari1978 · Senior Member

So glad you are here.
The second meeting I attended the one gentleman approached me and wanted to let me know I cured him. I kindly nodded and said keep coming back, I have so much to learn myself.
I am from a very small community and there is one meeting one night a week. Fortunately these last two meetings we have focused on the approved literature. I take what I need and leave the rest. I really hope you are able to find a meeting that you feel comfortable enough to attend. Keep on keeping on.
In support
M

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

A basic introduction to Al-Anon. Includes :

P07 Guide For The Family of the Alcoholic;
P13 Purpose and Suggestions;
P14 So You Love an Alcoholic;
P48 Understanding Ourselves and Alcoholism;
P53 Al-Anon Spoken Here;
P67 - Dear Mom & Dad;
S04 Information for the Newcomer;
M12 Just For Today bookmark.

Yes.....

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

HI

MIRANDIC HAS PROVIDED YOU WITH THE WEBSITE FOR YOUR AREA . IT APPPEARS THAT THE MEETINGS ARE LISTED ON THE SITE ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE PAGE. I CHECKED AND THERE ARE A LARGE VARIETY OF MEETINGS ON THE LIST BEGINNER MEETINGS. STEP MEETINGS AND TOPIC MEETINGS HERE IS THE WEB ADDRESS AGAIN

http://www.aisrochester.org/index.html

I AM LITERATURE PERSON FOR MY MEETING AND WE GIVE" BEGINNER PACKS" OUT FREE TO NEWCOMERS. IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO FIND ONE JUST "PM" ME YOUR ADDRESS AND I WILL MAIL TO YOU

Iwantthingsback · Senior Member

Thanks Betty!!!

Iwantthingsback · Senior Member

OK Miss Betty.......or anyone who may know. I found a list of meetings (with help LOL).

But still confused. It lists different meeting in area and surrounding and times. A lot of them do not have a name of the meeting just where it is. But from what I hear that doesn't matter so much as long as I can find one that fits my work schedule. Most do not have a ( a symbol ) next to it? And a few I can attend have a ( * ) does that mean this is just an AA meeting or both? I don't see many with a ( ** ) or a ( C ).

Sorry to be a pain I just want to be sure I am reading this right and I prefer not to go to an AA meeting :) Should I just call the churches and ask?

* AA meeting same time | ** Al-Anon Meeting same time | C Closed-Al-Anon ONLY!

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Iwantthingsback wrote:
Most do not have a ( a symbol ) next to it? And a few I can attend have a ( * ) does that mean this is just an AA meeting or both? I don't see many with a ( ** ) or a ( C ).

Sorry to be a pain I just want to be sure I am reading this right and I prefer not to go to an AA meeting :) Should I just call the churches and ask?

* AA meeting same time | ** Al-Anon Meeting same time | C Closed-Al-Anon ONLY!

Hi Again The * indicates that there is an AA meeting at the same time not in the same room " C" means only alanon meeting held there at that

time

"ACA" means adult children of alcoholics meetings," B "means Beginners meeting," S" Indicates a Step meeting.

I found that Beginners meeting worked best for me at first because at these meetings beginner tools were discussed and the slogan reviewed. It is suggested that you try 6 different meetings before deciding if alanon is for you.

Visit , listen, pick up literature and keep coming back

Iwantthingsback · Senior Member

GREAT and thank you - thank you! I dont see many notes or symbols at all next to our Rochester meeting listings (other than * and handicap) so I will have to call and or just go and see. No biggy, I am closer than I was yesterday.

At another glance I only see beginners that is not an hour or more away are 11Am on Mondays and 7Pm on Wed. I cant take off work :(. And unless I am able to change my schedule at work (not sure if I can), Wed I work until 8PM. :( I will figure it out! Maybe do a beginner on line and go to what I can face to face. All will work out as it should.

Thanks for the help

Bless you

ClearTheFog · Senior Member

I was very unsure before I went to my first meeting, because there was nowhere for me to call or email. I did not trust that these meetings would be taking place when the website said they would. I did not trust that the website was up to date. One day I got so impatient with myself that I said "Ok! Just go to one that's listed. If there really is no meeting there, then ok you tried and you don't have to try again, ever". Luckily they were there, regular as they always had been. But I felt it was odd not to be able to email anybody about it.

Iwantthingsback · Senior Member

Clearthefog.... this is how I feel - and most of the are NOT in safe areas AT all........... so I am very limited time of day and the area. I will not go to some of them at night (or day) where they are located. I am talking very bad not safe areas that you won't stop at a red light if driving LOL. I found very few in safer areas and I hope they are really there. No one calls back or anything. So I will do what you did - just go and see.

My A has had the same issue, he found a couple that fit his work schedule, he got there and was so mad because no one was there, door was locked, so you never know. It made me mad because he rarely says ok I a going to a meeting... and if something doesn't go perfect (such as time of night, if there really is a meeting being held and or if it is a bus load of youths) it is back to the waiting game with him. :(

Back then when he said there was no meeting (before I was wise and not working my program) I emailed AA Rochester just to see if he was telling the truth. Sure enough they stopped having meetings there and never updated their listing. So it happens.

Makes me want to sponsor and start my own, in a safe area at a time that works for the average working person!!!!!! And in a perfect world, my A would be a sponsor and he could do the same! Hey, I can day dream :)

ClearTheFog · Senior Member

Yes, I can understand you wanting to go to a safer side of town!

I was surprised at all my local listings. They are all apparently legitimate, and all do take place! But I'm out in the suburbs of a big city, so maybe that's why. I hope you can find one soon.

Iwantthingsback · Senior Member

You bring positive to it - thank you!!! And I am sure I will :)

Tasha · Senior Member

Sponsors do not start new meetings - usually resentments do lol.

Sorry to hear you're having a hard go of it. I have to drive a long way into town and to meetings, and it really stunk when I would show up and no one was there! Especially when I would get confused and forget which I had been to and then did it again and THEN remembered - OH YEAH this isn't here!! I would tell people - nothing happened, didn't know what else to do about it at that time.

It still happens to me - I was all super excited to try an ACOA meeting - interviewed like 20 babysitters, finally hired one that could babysit during that time on Tuesday morning, got myself all ready, invited 2 recovery friends, drove all the way there - NO MEETING! BAAA!

I make plans - God laughs. ;)

I have learned to take these things in stride - and realize I am where I am supposed to be. There is something to learn from the things that don't go my way too - I am getting better at leaning into the lessons instead of stomping my feet on the ground and getting no where in recovery.

All the best to you!

Iwantthingsback · Senior Member

HI Miss Betty! I said to myself last night, if HP feels I need a F2F meeting he will help me find one (with my efforts as well).

Yes, I would have a lot to learn before I would ever attempt something like that BUT people need a place to go, it shouldnt be this hard for the working person anyway (there seem to be tons during the day). So someday maybe I can help (after I am well).

I did an on line once, it was not bad at all. BUT I am sure I would like the F2F better. Life is about compromise and options right :)

-- Edited by Iwantthingsback on Monday 28th of October 2013 09:10:05 AM

Iwantthingsback · Senior Member

Well, I found one this past Sat at 2PM, I was sooooooooooooooo excited. it was not in a very safe area but it was during the day, so I went. NO ONE WAS THERE!! There was another lady there as well, she too is having a hard time finding a real meeting in Rochester. I have a list but it obviously is NOT current and like I said, no one emails or calls back. So, I will try the one this Wed and hope people are there LOL

I try not to get too upset, I have you all (phew), all my books I ordered, couples Therapy and for now my A has been in a good mood and happier and even tho he isnt going to AA he is doing better and I see he is back to making his to do lists and things he used to do that seemed to help.. SO, until I find a meeting I have something at least. I am not kidding about the meetings though. How does one go about creating one? Down the road I really might want to do this for others (and me). smile

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi IWTB

I hear you and am so sorry that you are having difficulty finding a meeting. Staring a meeting is a great idea once you understand the concepts of the program and the Traditions. There is a Meeting Format and Meeting Guidelines available from ALANON WSO and that might be a great place to start. In the mean time if you cannot find a meeting, attending our on line meetings here would be a possible substitute

Please keep reaching out There is hope and help

Tasha · Senior Member

Keep calling and keep searching - don't give up on you!

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

IWTB

You are right face to face is the way to go. Keep trying and do not give up.

You are worth it

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.