well i spouted off to my son...and i was so upset.  but yes, today i feel good. (almost feel guilty for admitting that)  i don't have anxiety.  i don't have a lump in my throat. and i am not crying.  after reading all of your responses i came to realize....it's ok.

 for many years i have "kept my cool"  worked my program.  tried to speak in a loving, christian manner.  i shared this episode with my daughter who seemed quite surprised.  she said, "mom, it's about time!" i think in the future when all of those feelings come up and i get to my breaking point, i need to look at another way to release it all.  i realize the words mean nothing to my son.  and i am totally powerless over the way he lives his life.  but boy, it sure felt good!  thank you all again for your support...debbie