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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Belonging
Post Info TOPIC: Belonging
tiredtonite


Veteran Member

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Posts: 25
Date:
Belonging
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I'm trying to come to terms with having outgrown my workplace.  I can see our culture has changed so much.  This change in culture is a direct result of a change in management.  I've stayed true to myself as much as humanly possible and the result is that I no longer fit there.  Coworkers who are feeling the same say that if the founders of the organization could see us now, they'd note that their simple dream of equality, advocacy and quality of life has been twisted, mangled... pretty much destroyed. Somebody in my workplace said to me this week, "I wonder what they would think of us?"  Idealists... us!  I'm not proud of myself. I've stayed.  But I think I can honestly say... I haven't overstayed at this point. 

I'm so grateful for this program and it's tools its given me. I couldn't even make a decision when I first got here.  I deliberated so long and hard on choosing this or choosing that and remained stuck. I wasn't able to discern my hp's will from my own.  How did I know if what I was thinking was hp nudging me or the result of my own unhealthy thinking. This is where years of sticking around and keeping the program close and working it has been maybe just maybe paying off.  I trust my god and I trust myself and I have the courage to walk away from people places and things that don't add value to my life.  Just to be more clear, I have active alcoholics in my life and I value them and I love them. I'm thinking particularly of my brother right now. I just keep trying to keep my side of the street clean where he's concerned.  If the day were to come when I would feel I couldn't have him in my life, I would separate myself from him.  I know his alcoholism is not about me and because I'm working Alanon, I am not contributing to it by enabling him. With that said, I feel differently when it comes to my workplace. It's calling on my program and my ethics. As they look at us as employees and decide who they want, I too am looking at them. Do I want my name connected with theirs?  Do their actions match their mission statement?  Are they deserving of the skills, talents and heart I bring?  My program has taught me that I have choices and a right to choose not to mindlessly accept the unacceptable, not to take scraps just because I accepted them in the old days before Alanon.  When we know better we do better.  So now I that my insides and outsides are more of a match, I'm responsible to make conscious choices that reflect that.  I can act rather than be acted upon.  Its time to do the footwork involved in finding a new job in a new workplace.  I can trust my hp and keep growing in recovery.  Thanks for letting me reason this out with you.   TT



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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
DavidG


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2940
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aww Nice Tt, to see the serenity prayer in action.

I parted from my permanent job over two years ago. I had a good position but the son and daughter came back into the business. I was happy to move over and let them take back the role I had. But youth was impetuous.

There were many many reasons why I moved on. But here is one. The son decided that our end of the season treat was to go to a strip show. Our woman colleague got to send her hubby along! Okay I wasn't morally opposed to the others going. I did not go and missed a chance to "bond" with my workmates and younger boss.

Beside that i had worked like a horse to keep my position and I had to seriously come in for maintenance! In the end I had to bail out. I could hav eended up becoming a wounded victim, but Alanon enable me to rise above that.

I am in a much better space now. I was head-hunted for a summer job. This is my dream-job for which i have special skills. [I am a dab hand with a pick and shovel!] But the job is also on a special heritage site!

Having Alanon means that I have friends and colleagues outside of work, and outside of my immediate family.

Thanks so much, and thanks for the chance to share!

DavidG.



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Each Alanon member is my teacher.                                                                                                                  
PP


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3964
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So true when our insides and outsides match, we know what is best for us.  It is harder, then,  not to do right by us.  I enjoyed reading through your process.......



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Paula
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3653
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Oh TT you have grown so much. So very proud of you. You will know where your place is, your tenacity and heart amaze me.

huggen you,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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grateful2be


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 7576
Date:
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I can remember posts when you felt sad about the down-sizing that was going on at your workplace among other feelings. Wow! What an empowering change in thinking you have made since only a few months ago. I feel so good about what you have written above. I'm so hopeful you'll find that new job very, very soon.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
bud


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2081
Date:
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Sounds like you're the eye of the tornado, others a swirling out-of-control mess. It's ok to not belong to some things! Let this one pass and find something more stable to gain that warmth of belonging. Keep on doing the next right thing and let it bring you to a better place. (((TT)))

In support

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tiredtonite


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 25
Date:
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Thanks ((((everyone)))) for sharing your experience, strength and hope with me.  David, still laughing about your boss' idea of a reward for the people in the workplace especially the part about the woman coworker getting to send her husband.  The best part of your post though was hearing you landed your dream job. :) Thanks for the laugh and reminder that people do land dream jobs.

PP, thanks! Yes, it feels like I'm wearing tight shoes all day long. It's uncomfortable and hard to ignore.

(((debilyn))) thank you.

grateful... I'm getting there.  It's been hard to come to terms with the disappointments but I'm getting there.  Thank you.

Thanks, bud.  I like your tornado analogy. Time to let go and trust hp.



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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
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