The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Seems like most of the A s I read about on here are causing trouble of some sort all the time, ect,ect.
My AH is a different kind. He never missed a day of work in 40 years, never got arrested, doesn't yell or do any of that. Just the opposite, he reads, watches tv, gardens, fishes, golfs. All the while drinking, and really not bothering anybody. Nobody would have an idea he has drank that much beer, if they talked to him. The first 10-15 years,he could drink a lot more, and be a drunk ass, but as the years have progressed, he just quietly settled into a serious tolerence for the stuff.He has the personality, and energy of a tree. And is self centered and selfi
Wondering if any of you have a simular experience.
Anyway,I'm working on me, am letting go of the anger little by little
The disease progresses differently in each individual- but it is equal opportunity and it does progress. My exAH had been "functional" for several years, not missing work, etc. It's effects are insidious, but it also affects everyone that is exposed. It may take some people longer than others to see the destruction. The self-abuse and toxicity of alcoholism takes its toll on the human body and alters the mind, body, and spirit.
IT: It's difficult watching alcoholism drain the life out of our loved ones, isn't it? Whether they're mean, violent, hallucinating, trouble-making, or quiet As, we've loved them and probably still love them and it hurts to watch a disease over which we are totally powerless - and they are, too - squash their zest for life, their personalities, their minds and their hearts. I'm glad you come here and that you're going to Al-Anon, too. Without help, living with them is too much for most - if not all - of us. I'm sorry he has this disease. I'm sorry it hurts you and the family. It can drain the life out of us if we allow that to happen. You've made a decision not to let that happen. Sending you lots of encouragement and support.
He doesn't sound much different to me. Drink comes first with a healthy dose of denial. The isms are alive and kicking like any other alcoholic. He's still hiding from himself. That was my a main purpose. My ex even got sobriety from drink and was even worse to live with. I don't believe there are acceptable levels of alcoholism.
How funny. My SO is not a alcoholic but your description " and energy of a tree. And is self centered and selfish " is him to a tee. Everyday it becomes harder to stay here. It comes down to when am I going to tell him and leave.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
That is my hubby too. He worked hard and came home and drank himself to sleep. Or he went to the hotel room when he was on the road and he drank himself to sleep. He carried his whiskey in his suitcase. He was Never, Never, Never without it. On Saturday he went to the office to do some work until noon and then he came home and drank while he watched football or baseball or whatever sport was on. On Sunday he started drinking by noon and the tv was on. When he hit 45 yrs. old it got so that he started to be verbally mean. I was called bi*** as a noun, verb, adverb and adjective.... daily. The whole family avoided him and that is what he wanted. Life was all about him. To outsiders he was an angel and to the family he was a devil. He could hide it so well from everyone else. Because he always went to work he didn't think he was an alcoholic. Even after he started AA he didn't think he was "really" an alcoholic.
