Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Alcoholic A

Jen61 · ~*Service Worker*~

My A has slipped a few times in 4 months and last night was a big one. Of course he was not drinking. What was I talking about. He kept following me around the house yelling, screaming, calling me horrible names and putting his finger in my face. He pushed my shoulder twice. I called the police and they came and talked to him. He finally admitted he had drank a pint of vodka and they did a breathalyser on him - it was twice the legal limit. He is here but still very disruptive. He informed me a few minutes ago that he would love to stay with me if he could drink when he wanted to. Is he out of his mind?? Yes and so am I for having lived this for almost 8 years. I do not feel angry or resentment towards him...just pity. He will never see the big picture because he does not want to. I am finally going to go see an attorney. Yes it scares me to be alone, but it scares me more to stay. My stomach has been in knots for years and years, but no more. Alcohol is a family disease because no one in his family wants to be with him. My dogs are even afraid of him. It can only get better from here but any comments would be appreciated. Thanks in advance, Jenny

Mari1978 · Senior Member

Dear Jenny

Sounds to me like you are taking care of you.
We become addicted to them. Its not easy to change but its necessary. The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again expecting different results.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change
Courage to change the things I can
and the Wisdom to know the difference.

Bless you on your journey
Keep coming back

In love and support
M

Bettina · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear Jenny,

Not much more I can add as Mari said it perfectly.

Wishing you the best as you continue on your path.

Hugs, Bettina

ilovedogs · ~*Service Worker*~

Jenny, you sound strong and determined and I know things will work out for you. Turn your fears over to the care of your HP and know that we are here for you. I am still with my AH but mostly because he doesn't drink around us anymore and if that changes I might have to reevaluate my life and my choices. Hugs and support to you!

Iwantthingsback · Senior Member

Good for you!!!!! XOOX

canadianguy · ~*Service Worker*~

http://alanon.activeboard.com/t38730205/okay-so-what-can-we-do/

Hi there... definitely "been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt"....

It was explained to me that many/most active alcoholics will do anything in their power to remain in their addiction, sometimes at almost any cost.

Tom

stilllearning · Member

Jenny feel for you and what you are going through. I agree with what has been written... it is hard to leave someone we have been with for a long time. I know that when in crisis I force myself to go to more meetings.. work on me... (and i know it is so easy to focus on them and how badly they behave) but for me... that energy spent on them is just wasted... If I put that same energy on something that could heal me... make me safer... give me a laugh.. or feel connected with people who love me.. Well it has just worked better for me. Not advice just know we are all here for you and pulling for you :)

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

Jenny, bravely go in the direction your hp is leading you. The statement your A made pretty much sums it up as "I do not want to stop drinking" That leaves you with informed choices knowing recovery for him is very unlikely. It's hard enough for people who do want it let alone those that do not.

Jen61 · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks everybody. I will step up my meetings and read my books more. I need to take care of myself. Thinking and wondering what the A is going to do is really a waste of my energy.

abbyalana · Senior Member

Scariest decision I ever made. Best thing I've ever done for myself and in turn for our daughter. Alanon and therapy have been a godsend for me. Our daughter misses her dad - but doesn't want to see him while he's actively drinking. He's an angry one...it's sad. Still, couldn't change him. He'd had many chances and I finally decided it was up to me to make healthy changes. Good luck to you!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.

"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"