"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

islandtime · Veteran Member

a question

yanksfan51 · ~*Service Worker*~

Good morning Island Time:

For me it was always helpful to remember that my A was going to drink whether I was bothered or not, and that my reaction or feelings about it had no impact on his drinking activity. I remember those patterns and routines, and how bothered I could get by them as well. If this is something that you can set your clock by, like you said, maybe it would help to have something for yourself that you do everyday at 4:00...he's getting his beer iced? You are getting your bath water to perfect temp? Or he is setting cooler at his fingertips? You are getting your favorite novel ready to read or trying out a new recipe or whatever you love to do as long as it's about you and that's where your focus is.

:)

YF

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Can't offer anything better than YF's experience, strength and hope, IT. Good stuff here. Learning to focus on ourselves and giving to ourselves goes a long way in healing and reducing our own stress levels. (((IT)))

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Your post this morning was dejavue for me , I would wake up from a dead sleep every time my husb opened a can of beer in the middle of the nite , obsession was the hardest thing for me to over come , I remember the first nite I slept thru- waking thinking wow he didn't drink tonite only to go in the kitchen and see all the empties on the counter and realized I had finally accepted that he will drink regardless of what I do . His drinking isn't about you , he drinks because he has a problem , period. Detaching from the behavior takes time and a lot of practice and living with a practicing alcoholic you will get lots of time to do just that . When you don't notice him loading up the cooler you will know your on your way to letting go . Read all you can on obsession find a page you can work , Odat and Courage to change address the problem . This too shall pass. Louise

canadianguy · ~*Service Worker*~

Schedule a walk for yourself, at 3:50pm every day??

T

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

May I suggest turning your buttons off? unplug them? Maybe learn to shrug your shoulders and say oh well whatever. He is going to drink, I mean it is the nature of the disease. I know when I accepted things as is, my life changed for the better.

Why don't ya go over and help him? That would be a good twist. Say here honey allow me to help you.

If what I did bugged someone and it was part of me, then I would not stop. I mean it is my life, my choice. It is our decision to live with it or not! It is our decision to learn how to live with it and that means acceptance of the situation.

Active A's do 1,2,3,.....so there it is.

We can only change us. So if you don't want it to bug you, then don't let it. My dogs like to chew on their chew bones at night. most would go nuts I suppose. But I love hearing it and it puts me to sleep. son is the same way.

My husband snored. I LOVED it, meant he was there, right there with me. We can choose how to look at things. So your husband has a routine. Addicts are as, or more addicted to the routine as the drug itself believe me.

I hope you find some comfort. hugs, debilyn

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"