The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
(((DO))) I've been there, too. I get scared when I project into the future. I'm scared because there is nothing I can do about future events that may or may not occur. The Serenity Prayer, focusing on what is real in my life like right now I'm feeling afraid. I'm focusing on what could happen. I will focus on what is happening. I'm sitting in the corner of my "prayer couch." I am typing these words. Outside my window there are only grey clouds. I can see the trees changing colors from green to yellow. My body is relaxed. My feet are planted firmly on the floor. The warm robe I am wearing is a rose color. The TV is on and it is muted. I hear one of my cats running in the house. I'm feeling peaceful and calm. I am safe and supported on this couch. I am breathing air. I am fine. I am healthy. HP is with me. What's true for me is true for my loved ones. All is well.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 15th of October 2013 09:25:30 AM
I just came to work this morning and having a hard time, trying not to cry.
I am exhausted. My AS is getting sicker physically, I can see a marked difference in his appearance and right now I am afraid for what will happen to him. I try to stay in the moment but right now I have a real fear in me. My other son is special needs and that is pulling me apart with fear that if something happens to me he will be alone in the world.
I am trying very hard to hang on today and not fold into a heap on the floor.
You are not alone. Rest as best as you can. Remember to eat. Pray for inner peace. Pray for your sons. Thank you for sharing. Keep coming back. I will hold you in my prayers.
Find a f2f meeting if you can.
Much love and support
M
I know so well what your going though. Read some of my posts and you will get an idea. I have to work every single day to not project what might happen. I can't stop it so my worry was ruins my day. My son is going to do what he wants no matter what I think. I can't stop it no matter how hard I try. I can enable him until the cows come home but it does give him anymore desire to get well. When I stop all enabling, took hold of my life with the help of Al-anon and MIP my son has gotten the message. Mom is not there anymore and he is seeking treatment. Yes I'm still scared but I practice, practice and practice more to reach a level of peace within me one day at a time. I will no matter if he drinks or not
We are here to support you so keep coming back....you are not alone
((( hugs )))
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Another mom here of an alcoholic son. He has been in rehab, sober living and has relapsed. As of now I don't know what's going on with him as he hasn't been in contact with me. I live with fear everyday and try my best to squelch it by attending Al-Anon meetings and reading this forum, along with Al-Anon literature. It's a daily struggle.
It is truly heartbreaking but there is nothing we can do except pray and hand over our sons to HP.
Dreamsover..I know where you are, in a living hell. I've been there. I have a son that started to fall into mental illness at about 20, and has been in a downward spiral for the last 19 years. He lives either in jails or homeless. he hitchhikes ALL over the U.S. He self medicates with anything he can get his hands on. It used to be torturious in the middle of the night for me. I would just lay in bed and cry, and think of him cold and hungry ect ect ect. I was making myself sick. I knew I HAD to stop that. I prayed like I never prayed before, for HP to take care of him because I couldn't. To my surprise a great weight was lifted off of me. I got strength to try to get him help, without getting sucked under in the process. I still carry this with me, but it doesn' over power me. When it's the child that you gave birth to, it's much different than the husband you can divorce if necessary. You can't just say that was my ex son, and cut him loose. I feel your pain. I wish I would had this group to go to on those horrible nights. I was so alone, but you aren't.
Another thought.... your name "Dreamsover" ...it's not over, till it's over. As long as he is alive, there is hope. So don't give up dreaming, miracles do happen.
