The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yesterday while watching a video clip, the fellow really hit home for me. I thought I'ld share some of what he said here.
How can my Higher Power remove my pain when I'm not removing myself from the situation?
How can my Higher Power heal my wounds when I'm not removing the person who's causing them?
How can you get the heart that's meant to love you by holding on to the person that cares nothing about you?
When you've got all the signs why are you still searching for reasons?
Stop overlooking who they are and how they treat you because you are so in love with who they could be or should be.
Possibilities lie.
Don't fall in love with that persons potential you could be falling in love with something that person would never be.
Take care of your heart, protect your heart and stop breaking your own heart.
It stops with you.
Yeah that's what I thought too. When I shared it with another friend she said our Higher Power can only do so much. We have to be willing to do our part as well.
Tracey All that the speaker spoke is true until you pick up and use the alanon tools Then when you embrace the alanon philosophy you change and the alanon thought that "you can be Happy if the alcoholic is drinking or not" surfaces. "
Naturally we must change our expectations, keep the focus on ourselves, become interdependent with a unreliable dependent person , trust HP for guidance and live life one day at a time in reality. It is a difficult and huge order but with HP's help it can be done,
We can never expect HP to change the other person and make the other person the way we want them. We need to trust that HP will help us to change and become the person who can love unconditionally . That type of love will enable growth for the two people.
If we do not grow and change living with an alcoholic is too much for most of us.