The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's fight did it . I said this is not how I want to live my life under a dictator . Curfews when I can go to Alaon when I can self help myself . Well today my A said you have a poor attitude I applyed for a job and he said you are not working that shift. I said and why is this ? Because I said no . So I said it's finally working about time . He said what is . I said Alaon with a capital A . He says you don't go to meetings I said true because when I do go the house caves in the children suffer because your upset because I'm out and with friends and your home being a dad yes something he does not want to do . He asked me are you happy and I said yes fiinaly arnt you , he says no and I asked why do you think that . He says because you are interfering with me . I said how so ,he had nothing to say . I said you know littles a. Ppl in recovery sober healthy honest ones are supported of there wife's since I started late in Alaon you done nothing to show me how glad you are that I'm making progress with self awareness and ready my books I said do you think you slip on your program and is upset because I'm making progress , he said he hated Alaon we are all baby's we sit in every ones pity that's why you get no chip for making another month of sobriety or healing . I said I go to Alaon for the ppl friends and slogans and a courage to change and support I think you only go to your a meetings to say you go and collect a chip and appaulse and come home and talk and judge others there and tell ppl to shut up . So he says to me every one told me this would happen my Councler told me to that this marrage is dune . He stated to A A can't live together there can only be one boss . He is getting the divorce papers Tuesday . To think that I gave my all suffer for his defects gave up my program to try to make him happy then said what . No this is not the Alanon way . We as a fellowship don't give up because the A will achieve what they want . Today it's all about ME yes me no one else I put my self last my whole life for once I'm the only one on the front burner it's my time to give my self attention it's ok for me to be selfish if it to make me healthy . The powers of words the slogans and a good 12 step and my supporter just help heal my co dependency NO MORE
When in doubt stop and remember the day starts with you !
You count , let go (god) let live
Who needs a chip to be healthy I don't I got rid of that chip on my shoulder and I feel 170 pound lighter.
It does sound as if your confidence is building and you have gained a true sense of self. Good Work. You have worked hard and come a long way. Sharing here, attending as many alanon meetings as possible, reading literature all work together to enable us to listen to the still small voice within.
I am pleased that you are considering working and I wish you success
((((RM))))...Wow!! I love the willingess and determination in the face of the disease. You go Girl!! In support. I use to counsel those affected by the disease...both sides...drinkers and victims and one of the primary issues we worked on first was Power and Control. When he learns he doesn't need Power and Control or that he is the center of the universe he will also loose that ton of useless weight he carries on his own shoulders. Often times we men without a spiritual program -and- a power greater than ourselves, are delusional very delusional...we only think that we are supposed to be the boss until we find out our thinkers been busted for a long time.
Stay the course...stay in your own program of recovery and remember...when he gets upset it usually means your recovery is working. Notice that he goes after it feircely and what you'll notice is his fear. Let him have his fear cause it is a great motivation to change..
I have a question Ms, you said he is getting the divorce papers Tuesday. Are you living in the same home? Do you have
a place to go if he becomes enraged over this. Have you made a plan?
