The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
After the angry emails I sent to my brother, his GF and my parents last weekend I received no response until last night. They make me wait, you know...which only makes each email I send get meaner and meaner...
my father said my brother's GF went to the police *rolls eyes* she lives in another state. Her mother had to drive 4 hours to sit with her because she was so upset. At least these are the claims. talk about a victim.
my emails were cruel but she and my brother have shunned me from all plans including holidays for two years so I WOULD react and I guess I'm learning a lesson about holding my tongue. But my brother and I are in our 40s. He should speak for himself. It's more invalidation.
My father said in his email that if I emailed theM again there would be serious legal consequences. My fathers email was so manipulative and I was so hurt that he was speaking for and siding with my brother that I fired off two more emails to them ALL! (ducks)
i just said im done and want to have no contact.
the only harmful (?) thing I said in the previous emails was that if they hurt a child of god it would come back to them in some way shape or form eventually. (I know, I used Gods name in a bad way). Is that enough for them to out me behind bars, locked up in a mental hospital (that's what my father will try) or at the least a restraining order?
the worst abuse is the Silent Treatment I got from them for two years but there's no proof of that and there are four of them and only one of me and they are highly "successful".
-- Edited by WorkingThroughIt on Friday 11th of October 2013 11:03:57 AM
I know. My disease is all over this. I just realized that at almost 50 my PMS is getting VERY bad. It might sound like nothing but I have noticed this stuff always happens right before that time of the month. I have even begun to note, "WATCHFUL" on my calendar but somehow didnt notice my own writing.
This is hard and your responding to them so understandable. From the madness of the Business World , I have learned to be careful what I put in writing. Please keep coming here and sharing. This works
You are in my thoughts and prayers
-- Edited by hotrod on Friday 11th of October 2013 07:41:16 PM
However...though our hormones may make us react more strongly at times, clearly there is something to be upset about. Just because you may have pms doesn't mean that there isn't something legit to react to or respond to... I used to get so upset when the exA threw PMS in my face...as if it was ALL pms, and that there was no real reason for anyone to be angry...lord knows, it couldn't be HIM! Sometimes pms is a convenient scape goat, too.
WTI...it sounds convoluted but I'm going to suggest just doing something radically different. Take a job...any job. To much financial dependence and too much time to be in your head is turning this toxic. I know you have sleep problems but it's worth working through and working for your esteem. God will carry you through it.
Thanks door the suggestion PC. If only...! I got a small job part-time and did a great job-they were so happy (I have an excellent resume from before I got sober. But on the 2nd day of this job I had a bad nights sleep and could not even show up. I'm like a totally different person when I don't get rest...it's trauma. Eyes very puffy, skin bad, body aches, confusion...and full of fear. I may have to separate from them somehow first then take the time to heal. I've looked into shelters and even the few dangerous ones that are more available are only for three weeks tops.
In my writing today i saw i just keep demanding to be accepted and when Im not, I blow up and hurt myself and others.
It's so much better to just accept. :)
I get the PMS thing. I can behave badly and over react and it can be dangerous to our relationships. I've marked my calendar too. What about apologising? Only for your own part in this. It may help you feel better if you make amends and work on Forgiveness.x
I'll consider it definitely but I have to be very careful with my family. They can take an apology and run with it
- my father lives to make me feel guilty.
Anytime I apologize for reacting I have to be real careful.
However I am beginning to feel bad for my sister in law.
Hi there WTI,
I really appreciate your comment 'It's so much better to just accept. :)' When I manage that one I feel more peaceful and have more space to live my life. Meditation helps me to sleep better )
Clearly you are in pain and being hurt. That is real. One thing I've put into practice is not stooping to other people's level. I can be a role model. I can use the tools I have to be a better person myself, and treat others as I want to be treated. I also believe in karma. I would rather give off positive or at least neutral vibes. It's way better for me. I want to behave in a way I can respect myself for. I don't need any extra shame or guilt-I've had plenty. Just sharing, Lyne
)