(((Dear Green Eyes)))

I so understand and will light a candle in your name today as I attend church

In my prayers

I'm sorry, Green Eyes. I understand that this might feel like the wedding should be a fun family celebration with all members present;  and because it appears that not all your family members will be present, there is a cloud hanging over your head. Can you consider that your family members are in different places physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and not torn apart?

When I've been troubled by things like this, I've learned to turn it all over to my HP, trusting that everyone who is supposed to be at an event like your daughter's wedding will be there. I don't know if it will work for you. It works for me. (((GE)))

Green Eyes you'll be okay if you choose to be okay.  I remember some awesome lessons with my own sponsor regarding feeling deep sadness in regard to my relationship with my alcoholic/addict wife and our breakup.  I was sad all the time almost by default and use to say I just can't get happy about anything.  First thing I learned was the difference between can't and won't and my sponsor challenged me about changing the "can't thought and talk to the "won't" and then taught me that feelings are choices which at first I reacted to from denial and lack of greater awareness.  My thought was that depending on the conditions I was "supposed" to feel a certain way about things and with he feelings are choices idea I came face to face with the reality that inspite of the conditions I could choose to feel almost anything I want at any one time.  When I detacted from the situation I got it.  A month or so ago I went to a eulogy for my former sister-in-law with a host of people who got up to speak about her, most of it sad, depressed, lost and lonely and I could not because in response to how I was taught all I could do was find things for gratitude and I got up and spoke of one of them.  My former addict wife had not remembered a time when we were soooo young and her family and mine were very close and I did and when I did the entire crowd broke out in smiles and laughs.  I related to my former wife last week that her sister was an example of courage and respect for me.  She acted with surprise and then that often is caused by the differences in perceptions.  Today I perceive differently and when I do I choose more positive emotions.  I know what you mean when you say you're feeling Blue today and then the color Blue is a cool, airy, friendly, calming feeling for me.   In support.  ((((hugs))))