The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have heard this before from people who have gone and maybe it is our area in Rochester (not to put AA down at all).But Monday he cried so hard at our last therapy apt and just yelled out AA makes me want to drink!!!!!And that is makes him feel worse and he walked out. And we were not even talking about his Dry Drunk or drinking.... Our therapist look at me (I am crying) said this does happen and it isnt the first time he has heard this and Tom needs to find something that works for him.IF these meetings make him feel so bad (and he has been to a couple during the 2 yrs and has acted worse after) what else is there? Someone mentioned a book Getting them sober? Does this help me on how I can handle him and support him getting help?
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Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.
Nothing else. AA is a huge threat to his disease, so his disease is working him over big time. It uses his intelligence, charm, reasoning... everything he's got up there in his head - AGAINST him! He's fighting a battle with HIMSELF - and it's a check mate until he can surrender to the fact that his BEST thinking - got him in this predicament he's in. The smarter he is - the worse it will be for him probably. *Not always
Then on top of that, he has a physical allergy which will make it nearly impossible for him to regulate how much he takes in once he takes that first drink.
Scary yes. But YOU get to work on your own recovery here. You can not control this, fix it, you didn't cause it - and you can't cure. You can't make him better any more than you could take a poo poo for him if he were constipated. What you can do - is keep sharing - and keeping coming back for YOU! We understand how you feel and your sharing is very very good here : )
You have to stop taking on his disease and take care of your self. When I let go and gave my son's disease back to him is when my recovery started. One day at a time I'm learning and living my life and pray he will someday join in.
Getting them Sober is for you......you can't handle him.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
With active addiction, any excuse to drink becomes a good one... AA, therapy, etc... It's not something that you caused, can control, or cure- but, you can immerse yourself in your program of Alanon. Getting Them Sober has a lot of good information, as does all of the alanon approved literature, and the MIP message boards. Please attend Alanon meetings and start working the steps with a sponsor if you are not already doing so. Living with an active addict becomes too much for us to handle on our own. Working the program gives us the support and tools that improve our circumstances.
It isn't about AA...it's about him blaming AA just as he will blame anyone or thing else for his drinking. His thinker has been busted with alcohol and isn't working very well so might as well tantrum over it!! Alcohol is a primary mind and mood altering chemical and you got a demonstration of it. I never needed AA to wanna drink...I wanted to drink in spite of anything. It was always my head and addiction I grew to alcohol. Hold your boundaries and as others have suggested...continue taking care of yourself. Six one way ...half a dozen another some one is always gonna be on he downside of recovery. Read Tasha's earlier post about her husband saying her program sucks!! Blame, Blame, Blame...what am I and who am I if I don't get a chance to blame? Poor me, Poor me, Pour me a drink. Keep coming back here for yourself. ((((hugs))))
