The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
recovery has helped me "clean up my act" major, but I still see stuff that yea, i identify with and need some work on, (perfectionist, mad at self when i make mistakes, and the ADD thing, I wonder b/c that is my difficulty focusing and being mindful....improving, but not enough.......i still dissociate and when sad/depressed, i withdraw......my temper can get bad, usually at self.........and when exposed to stress, i have to sleep a LOT to recover)
all in all i see major improvement, but not where I want to be..........wonder , with my history, if i will ever be "whole".....makes me sad to think of that.....like did he and to a lesser degree, she take me apart so bad, i will never find all of me???? or can i build new parts where the old were destroyed?????
Good God almighty, they did a job on me..........
made me sad to read all this but truth is truth..........i am better, improving a lot, but still see stuff that i need to work on............
folks don't understand why, at times, i just want to throw in the towel and say "to hell with it, i am just too abused out to do much with" but i am either stupid, stubborn, or SOMETHING bc i keep slodging along in recovery, hoping for the best, but low expectations......
WOW......my parents should NEVER have had children.............
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I guess I can give me an A-plus on the "running away from home"
since being here, I haven't gone AWOL , not ONE time.......If I don't make a joke of this, I will get depressed, thinking of all the things , I mean almost ALL of them that I had to say "yes" to as i read each one....
the "bullying thing w/animals or others," NO...NOT that one, but so many of the others, i had to check "yes"
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
My startle response is off the charts due to my brother and my father being so mean to me growing up. :( I also deal with anorexia off and on because they told me I was fat.
Al-Anon helps us deal with our fear and control issues. I wasn't exposed to domestic violence on the part of my parents, but still have experienced some of those issues. For me, it is the subtle violence of this self-centered disease that affected me most as a child and still today. I'm fairly certain all of us struggle with one or more of those listed behaviors or symptoms of being affected by this cunning, baffling, powerful disease. Al-Anon is an antidote to it.
Ditto on the startle response. I scream sometimes when a bird flies overhead. Or a curtain flaps because the window is open.
I could tick every box except, as Neshma said, bullying peers or animals. I'll spend ages rescuing a spider from the shower before I turn it on, even if it means being late to an appointment lol.
