The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hiya troops.... Just interested in looking down the list of posts in recent times, and makes me kind of giggle at human tendencies sometimes.... Collectively, we are all like a bunch of people on the highway, slowing down to get a good look at the accident!!
If you look at the most "looked at" posts, in recent days/weeks, we tend to really be high on the controversial ones.... ones where two (or more) of us are angry with each other, arguing amongst ourselves, the whole "he said, she said" stuff....
Meanwhile, the numbers are moderate for the posts where people are reaching out for E,S,& H here.... We tend to have good response to most newbies coming here, but I also worry that some of our newbies don't come back, as they may, at times, not consider this a very safe place....
I'm not trying to "should" any of us..... Rather, just doing a bit of reflection here, both toward myself, and to us as a group.....
The power, strength, experience, hope, and life amongst this board is unparalleled. Think of how much good we can all do when we spend positive energy towards ourselves, and towards each other.
Like any "family", there are going to be disagreements, and communication breakdowns, but wherever possible, let's keep the focus, as best as we all can, on the issues at hand. Learning, supporting, and loving each other - as we all struggle in and around this world of alcoholism and other addictions.
Words can only be used for two things, and two things only..... to "build up", or to "break down".
I want to use mine to "build up".....
Have a great Friday!!
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I agree 100% with you. Building up is much better. I think we get into a habit of being drawn in to messes because most of us have lived or live that way. You make a good point, thanks!
I know from being in alanon for many years, that conflic, many times, is how things come out that really need to be said.
It is when we are uncomfortable that we learn. I have not seen any of the gossipy type stuff you have mentioned. I must have missed it. I have seen really good views and some excellent support.
Part of the reason I stopped going to the chat room was becuz it is not safe anymore. I just got done saying this spot is much safer. I for one do not want to alienate anyone who comes in who may think differently. For instance the one," u may get mad." I welcome this wonderful person who had the courage to come out and say how they feel.
I enjoy the people who come on the message board and post a lot. Keeping us updated, sharing their lives. Also it is wonderful when they all respond to others too. This is how we get to know one another.
It is ones who you see their nic a lot that make you feel like it is familiar. And it is those who are new who make ya happy that they found us.
For me I do not want anyone telling me not to do this and to do that. I come here and share what I have learned, update my own path and learn and learn and learn from every single post.
I appreciate the no profanity, I appreciate that no one attacks another. If they do, some one will come along and explain things to them in an appropriate way.
Families have conflict, familys disagree. I don't mind that the posts that seem the most eyecatching or more like they may be a conflict. This is how we sort things out.
This is an imperfect world and I do not want anyone to not say how they feel in here. Whether I disagree or not,they always have something to teach me.
Also if you think about it, thank goodness for conflict, perhaps more read them, and then get more out of them than they expected!!
I am drawn to the more conflict type posts. It interests me to see how people will respond. I mean almost all of us are dealing with such horrible conflict that maybe here we will learn how to deal with it affectively.
There could be many reasons why the controversial topics have alot of hits. Like it was said, we are used to messes. Some of us have that over-helping see if I can fix it mentaility. Some of us may think that someone angry is reaching out or just in need of ESH too.
What ever the reasons, your post is a great reminder.
I know I'm glad to be here, and I'm glad that everyone else is here too.
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
I enjoy your posts and appreciate your service to this board (even though I sometimes disagree with things you have done . That's the power of this program and principles above personalities at work.
I find for me "How important is it?" This board and the chatroom have been invaluable to me in innumerable ways and so if I think it's important to me, I will probably have an opinion about it - ever reminding me to stay with the program and keeping my HP at the forefront.
I find that sometimes there are those in this world that say very little but when they speak, their thoughts and wisdom speak volumes
Thanks for the topic,
Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
I have not had the chance to chat with you yet and this is my first time really reading posts on the site. I am a newbie here and very appreciative to read your post! My experience on this site has been about 98% positive. I have been fortunate not to run across much bickering - most of what I have received here is love, laughter, and ESH!! Thank you to those of you who work so hard to keep this place up and running for me and those like me out there!!
. That's the power of this program and principles above personalities at work.