The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Keep reaching out, sister. The disease traps us in isolation if we allow it. I'm glad you said what you meant, meant what you said and didn't say it mean. And when he couldn't reciprocate, you didn't stop there. You kept on reaching out until you found somebody who could relate to you. Good for you.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 4th of October 2013 09:29:06 PM
so, after months of working really hard on myself and detaching from my ah, i lost it tonight. since last friday my husb has been out drinking four out of seven nites and useless on the other three. so tonight whn he annc once again he wouldnt be home, i cried. i feel lousy as work has been tough and im getting sick and HE IS OUT AGAIN. i admitted to being lonely, said i was paranoid hes having an affair . . to which he denied, in regards to being lonely, he said," im sorry u are lonely but im not sure what i can do about it". OMG. . he is truly clueless and selfish, and so out of touch. i felt like someone slapped me in the face. i cried a minute, asked him to call our daughter at bedtime,reminded him she has games in the morning and said goodnigjt. i then called a trusted friend who helped me find the ridiculousness in it all. we laughed and she reminded me how this isnt new, hes not going to change so let it go. i did. still edgy and a bit mad at myself for sharing emotions with him as it does no good but im moving on. hes drinking but not home so i shall find the serenity in that, put on warm pjs and watch a movie with my kiddo. i sound good, but inside it hurts, im lonely and angry. . but, thanks for letting me share. .
__________________
When all else fails...there is Faith, Hope and Prayer.
I'm sorry to hear that it has been a tough time. Please don't beat yourself up too much about a normal human reaction to a very difficult and often abnormal situation. Living with an alcoholic is too much for most people, and we have all been where you are. The cozy pjs and movie with kiddo sound like a great idea. Continue to take care of yourself, and tomorrow is another day.
"i sound good, but inside it hurts, im lonely and angry."
Been there...done that...don't do that any more. I did what you did...I called others in the program and my sponsor and talked it out until I changed my behaviors, thoughts, feelings and intentions. We do slips and after a while less and less. It's about progress and not perfection. Keep coming back. (((((hugs)))))
I'm sorry to hear that it has been a tough time. Please don't beat yourself up too much about a normal human reaction to a very difficult and often abnormal situation. Living with an alcoholic is too much for most people, and we have all been where you are. The cozy pjs and movie with kiddo sound like a great idea. Continue to take care of yourself, and tomorrow is another day.
Wishing you a peaceful night
YF
Yes. The normal reaction to an abnormal situation. <3 I understand the hurt.
You did fine You expressed your feelings and then called a friend who could hear you and connected. You are growing and changing. I am happy that you came here to connect as well. You are not alone and believe me I can so identify.
Not seeing a slip up per say. Just cuz he's probably not going to change does not mean he never gets to hear about the consequences of his drinking. You do have every right to say "I would much rather prefer you to come home and spend time with your family as you know. You are a husband and a father and your drinking has you neglecting those things." Of course that will probably trip off a fight and him tantrummng, but it's true. I also would not expect him to change just from hearing that. Nonetheless, I do not think active drunks deserve to be tip toed around and there is a difference between speaking truth and nagging.
