The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon.
Ever since coming to Al-Anon, I find I have been more accepting of life. Accepting of myself, accepting of my feelings, accepting of situations around me that are out of my control.
I used to try and convince myself and pretend that things were different or that I felt differently about something/someone. But now, I am able to accept the things I cannot change, no matter how much I want them to or how unfair I think they are. I feel a large sense of serenity because of it.
I find when I begin to get angry, I 'accept'. It just feels like a release. I accept that I am right where I am meant to be, whether I like it or not, and it's best to make the most.
I am thankful for that gift al-anon has given me. Growing up in an alcoholic home, there was always chaos and control was something that I craved. I was tired of the alcoholics decisions also being my decisions. I thought so many other things would make me happy that I attempted to even manipulate my own feelings and wants to cater to what I thought I should want.
Dear Jim
I can relate so much to your post. Thanks for sharing. Today I had an opportunity to use my tools of acceptance and self care. My AH was angry about something trivial. Yelling and banging things. Pre-alanon I would have gotten angry at him, told him what he was feeling was crazy, wrong, etc and the situation would have elevated. Today I let him throw his tantrum, all the time telling myself I didn't have to attend every argument I was invited to. I used the wonderfully perfect phrase, 'you might be right' and left it at that. His black mood passed, and left me unscathed. He's been sober for maybe a month, but today he sure was acting drunk. Was he drinking? I honestly don't know, but I do know I'm not going to give up my serenity worrying. I couldn't say that a year ago. Thank God for this program.
