GAl (Guardian ad Litem) lack of Chemical Dependency Knowledge and Self Assessed Alcohol Evaluation - Al-Anon Family Group

abusedwife · Newbie

GAl (Guardian ad Litem) lack of Chemical Dependency Knowledge and Self Assessed Alcohol Evaluation

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP. In reading your story, I can certainly understand why you'd be concerned about the safety of your child. Can you contact the GAL's supervisor to appeal the decision inre "no cause for concern?" I don't know anything about GAL's, etc, but if you can appeal it - or go over her head - I'd do it. If you have an attorney, what do they suggest? Assaulting you in front of your child is child abuse in some states. That alone makes me sit up and take notice. If you have a report filed with the police department and the court system, can you take it to Child Protective Services in your location? Again, I don't know if this would be helpful to you or not, but in our state, children can be taken from their Moms if they stay in an abusive situation. I just don't see CPS smiling down on no supervised visits with a Dad who assaulted you in front of your child. The other possibility for you is contacting a Domestic Assault counselor or agency to ask for suggestions in your case as they specifically relate to you being assaulted and the assault that happened in front of your child.

I'm really sorry that you have had these experiences and are still in a situation that is such a concern for you with regard to your child. You showed a lot of care for both you and the child in doing what you needed to do to protect both of you from this man. I do hope you will find Al-Anon meetings in your area if you haven't already done that for ongoing support and help in recovering from the affects of your husband's disease. We didn't cause it. We can't control it. We can't cure it. We can help ourselves heal and deal with this horrible disease. Keep coming back here, too! Many of us have experienced what you are going through. Lots of encouragement and support to you.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I invite you to find a domestic violence support group asap! Try the dept of human services to find one. They will know how to make the judge listen, also they have the expertise to help you. '

Myself I would get out of dodge. I mean get away, far away. Your child nor you are safe, and you know that.

Please keep coming, there are so many people here who really care. I know I do! Please do not allow him to make you a statistic of a drunk who kills his wife and or child!

If you want to pm me, I would be happy to help you find support in your area. Please do not wait another day.

The court people do not care. They will bring a verdict with the least hassle for them. Its sad but true.

I hope you find a home here with us! love,debilyn

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP. You're in the right place and I'm sorry that you're having these experiences. You've received good support from the other replies.

I suspect that the assigned GAL needs a certain sets of facts in order to recommend supervised visitation. It is unfortunate, unfair, and unsafe, but in many US states, the trend is to treat divorce cases purely as business transactions unless extreme conditions can be presented as hard evidence. Therefore, it might be helpful to inquire what facts and specific evidence or documents constitute the need for supervised visits and any potential exceptions. A local lawyer could advise you best and help you with a safety plan for you and your children.

Keep coming back.
In support.

abbyalana · Senior Member

I feel your pain.

Here's what the GAL is looking for...reported, documented incidents. Police reports, DUI's, child welfare reports. Yup. You have to prove the visits are unsafe and unhealthy. It can be a long and tedious process so be prepared. I say that because I've been living it and it's constant. My therapist said if it was "normal" divorce I could just move on and never have to worry - wouldn't that be nice?

I am lucky in one respect - our daughter is 13 and can speak up for herself. It helps to make my case a little easier. Our daughter is in therapy. The therapist recommendations have been very helpful in court too. Oh, and I have stories and frustrations too...still! But that's what it's like dealing with an A and sharing a child...never ending until they hit 18 or the A stops pushing to visit.

So, you're not alone! I also recently had an attorney tell me to push for an ankle alcohol monitoring bracelet and a hair follicle test (my ex does a variety of drugs too) - maybe that could be an option for you too?

This stuff is so tough...

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