The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have not been on the board for awhile. Retreat week end of July at son's rehab an eye opener. AS is doing good, has returned to his work who paid for rehab (God Bless Them) and enrolled back at the university ( employer pays for that too) and still goes to intensive outpatient 2 nights a week and attends 2-3 meetings a week.
This would not be working had all family members not agreed to attend the retreat. We were forced to look at our family and get everything out and leave it on the table. My oldest son cried so much when reading his letter to his little brother and my husband who thought the binge drinking was defiance came to the realization our son has a disease.
AS speech at end of rehab - graduation was he did not know what life would bring regarding his criminal charges for 2nd DWI, But he THANKS GOD EVERYDAY for that arrest without it he said he would not have sought help. AS said he has never lived in TODAY, he was always thinking about his career and what goal he could achieve next he said it is peaceful living for today.
Each one of his rehab mates held his coin as they addressed him, it was moving my son had impacted so many. Many cried and thanked him for talking and helping them thru a particular moment, one thanked him for doing more than his share of cleaning and apologized when our son was Peer Leader that he didn't pull his weight. Some joked he could be best dressed and how the chairs for the meetings had to be perfectly straight.
One recurring theme many brought up was how they could see him helping other alcoholics. I couldn't speak much as I addressed the house and held my sons coin only to say " how in awe I was of everyone there that it takes pure courage to admit you have a problem.
I have continued Alanon and counseling, I sometimes get a panicked feeling when is the next shoe going to drop and I get a call he is in jail. I have learned to talk myself down from that ledge and remember that I CANNOT LIVE AS LIFE.
I DIDNT CAUSE IT. I CANT BE BLAMED FOR IT. I CANT FIX IT.
Only AS CAN. I worry but live in the day. My son and I are still close. He still carries a torch for his ex, hopefully he can move on. He attends church with us and he has SOBER FOOTBALL PARTIES FOR HIS REHAB AND AA FRIENDS.
MOTTO TO ATTEND NO DRUGS NO ALCOHOL NO GETTING HIGH IN ANY WAY! GETTING HIGH ON LIFE IS ACCEPTABLE AND ENCOURAGED.
He has lived a long life at 23. I know all I can do is change me and pray for him and not get paranoid and leap onto a ledge!
So many here helped me at my most absolute lowest point in June when my son was arrested and July when my son asked his employer for help and entered rehab.
I plan on coming here more often as I think I am in a place to encourage others. AGAIN THANK YOU EVERYONE AND ALL MY LOVE Faith
Thank you, but as everyone knows this is a life journey. I get anxious and over analyze everything occasionally. I am proud I have respected AS boundaries and see a " life coach" weekly who thinks I have PTSD more than co dependency. I have learned a lot of coping skills and like the place I am at.
