The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I know I must make the right choices for myself and my children when the time comes. I am not supposed to worry about what has not yet happened. My gut is telling me though I know my A has not hit rock bottom yet. I will have to stand aside and watch. I ask my HP for strength so that I may be strong enough and wise enough to do what is needed. I feel this constant nagging that I need to be prepared. Mentally, emotionally and financially. I am not a doctor but I see the signs. I will snuggle my children closer tonight and peacefully read the novel based on Lois Wilsons story and fall asleep knowing I am never alone in this world. My heart aches but I know I will be okay.
God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I can not change
The COURAGE to change the things I can
And the WISDOM to know the difference
Footprints in the Sand
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Let me tell you a little story. About a year ago I said my son would not hit bottom anytime soon but that he would die from a overdose or something. It was bad. But I had to quit my enabling and let go Let God take over for me. It wasn't easy. The pain was unbearable sometimes but I continued to move forward. I messed up over this year but I got back on program and continued taking care of me and preparing for the worse.
Then the day came. He was drunk not even able to walk or stay awake. His landlord kicked him out and called me to come get him. I wouldn't. I just asked him to call the police. Landlord wouldn't. I again asked him to call police so my son won't be driving....which I think he couldn't anyways. Landlord finally said he would take my son to the hospital and drop him off.
Now my son is homeless and really unaware he is homeless at this point. I didn't call I didn't go I didn't do anything but pray. He did call a few days later.....
He was in Detox and from there going to Rehab then on to a sober living involvement. I prayed for him and asked God if he had hit bottom. All my son knew was he didn't want to be homeless. I pray it was eye opening for him, will surrender and realize his life that become unmanageable and wants something better.
I will continue my path to recovery.....let my son go....and give him the respect to take care of himself going forward. If he doesn't he will pay the consequences for his choices. I will never soften the blow ever again.
The Serenity Prayer you are saying..... keep saying it very slowly and think about it every single time you say it.
He is going to drink or he's not......what are you going to do?
Keep coming back because you are not alone.....we are here 24/7
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
You are so right, Mari: You are never alone in this world. Sending lots of prayers for you and for your family. May your HP wrap your entire family in a blanket of peace and gentle understanding about how hard this all is for you right now. Staying focused on myself and the present moment makes things a little easier when I'm concerned for my family members. (((M)))
Thank you for the beautiful prayer and affirmation.
Please coming back, and keep on attending alanon face to face meetings. You will soon understand and truly know that this is the best action you can do to help yourself and your entire family
