The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yes sir, if it wasn't my story, I would not believe it. I have been seriously thinking that soon I would like to write my autobiography. I am game for it but don't plan on writing it for anyone except myself. I don't mean a 4th step either. I would have to include stuff that have nothing to do w/ the disease of alcoholism or how it affects me. I just want to tell my story as candidly as I can. Maybe I will let close friends read it. But, it is going to take a long time to get to that point because it took 47 years to get here. I hope to maybe someday have the nerve to share my story. I guess it takes a lot of courage to stand in front of people & tell the whole truth.
So, today & all weekend I am discovering that I need rest. I am still pretty together considering the fact that I don't sleep really well. But, that seems to be because of my alarm clock situation. Maybe I should move it closer to the bed. It is at an angle where I can't see it unless I am pretty much wide awake. It doesn't matter what happens though, I will be OK. I have been able to get through things that I believe a lot of people might not be able to handle lately. I talked to my mom twice today. I am excited to see her return home. I hope she is ready when they send her home. I want her to be able to face her situation here. It won't be totally easy for her. I guess I can help her adjust as much as I am able. But, I won't enable her. I just want to cushion the blow a little w/ my kind words & support. As most of you know, my mom has been very sick pretty much for most of the year. She just finally admitted that she had a problem in August. She will be able to admit a lot more when she gets back to meetings I imagine. I am sure that she burned some bridges while she was OUT THERE! But, I am not going to take her inventory. Under the guise of the fact that I am concerned about her, I will just leave it at that!
I would say write it no matter how long it takes. I think it would be a good continued recovery process. People have many different ways seeking their recovery and if a autobiography is yours.....by all means start. I always think what it would have been like to be able to read about my life if I would have kept a journal all my life. Things I'm sure I have forgotten and be able to see it written again....boy that would have been nice.
You also have many many years left to be able to write down your recovery and life ahead of you and the happiness coming your way. Maybe when it's written your mom would get some meaning what your life has been like....something she has not been able to realize just being there. Written word is powerful.
I'm happy for you that your excited to see your mom return home but keep your recovery first and foremost my friend. Remember those words......Detach with love and kindness.
((((( hugs )))) you are not alone
-- Edited by Cathyinaz on Tuesday 24th of September 2013 06:57:25 PM
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
glad to hear your having a good day! Somedays I'm confused by your posts, one day your ecstatic and the next day your not and it all seems to stem from how your Mother is doing.
I have been reading your posts for sometime now and so much is intertwined with your Mother and your Mother's life.
Would love to hear about your every day life without mentioning your Mom, Like what Cathy has to say in her final words.
Detach, practice practice, practice. Sometimes detaching doesnt seem kind to the other person even when we do it kindness.
But self preservation is most important.
