The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been popping in and out again after a bit of a break but tonight I read over some of my own old posts from almost 1 year ago. The people on this forum are so special and I had forgot that. When I was low or down or crazy the wise words from the people here really helped me.
I have been having a bit of a crisis with my own recovery. I still go to my meetings, I try and read my courage to change and ODAT daily, neglecting my 'just for today' a bit but my heart has not been in it. I think it's because I have let things slip and again!!! my life has became unmanageable. I have let my ego get in the way and have been reluctant to share that truth. Resentments and old ways of thinking have been creeping in and a good old dose of self pity just to top it all off.
I can be really hard on myself so my slip has made me isolate myself again so that people wont know I have made a mess of it all once again. This could possibly be another one of those damn defects! But tonight it may be time for me to let all you friends back in and hopefully you will all let me. Glad to be back.x
((((El CEE))))...The old relapse mansion is still there on the same block and the same street in the same town called crazy. I've been back for visits many times having missed the ripped wall paper and holes in the walls and doors and broken windows and blacked out mirrors. The door is always open and just for today I notice it isn't on a cul-de-sac or a dead end...I can walk right past it without even waving. Welcome back you are family...missed you. ((((hugs))))
So glad you are back, I just came back to Al-Anon a month ago after being a member for 7 years and taking a 14 year break. Am so glad to be back. Wish I had stayed in but when I had been gone a while I was ashamed to come back. Felt like I had done something wrong by letting my program slip and as long as I didn't go back I could pretend I was ok. Well I hit my bottom again last month and had to decide that I didn't care what anyone else thought, I needed help and knew it was available here. So glad I am back. I laughed when I read what Jerry F wrote about the relapse mansion. I refer to mine as the crazy train, I always have a free ticket just have to stop getting on or if I do get on get off quickly.
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I never thought of you as gone, el-cee. Just as a person who was taking a break for whatever reason you needed to do it. So, I'm not going to welcome you back. I'm just going to say, I missed you. (((el-cee)))
I'm so happy too your back. We need each other. There are so many that need to hear, see and listen to others to learn no matter what we do. We need to practice everyday and post our feelings so others will know they are not alone. Doesn't matter if you had a setback....all of us do....it's how we handle it going forward. Coming here is just one way to move forward and coming here is a safe with loving support.
We are not alone......
((( hugs )))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
