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I've worked in the corporate world and the non-profit world. I can only remember working in one insurance company and one hospital department where there were a few pills to work with at the time who were female. I can also remember working with some men who were pills, too. I just hung out with the folks I enjoyed and avoided the few who tended to be disagreeable. There was one gal, however, who years after we'd worked together, sought me out and mailed me a letter. She apologized for being such a beast to me when we worked together. She admitted that she was an alcoholic - now in recovery - who mistreated me because I wouldn't hit back at her. She took advantage of my unwillingness to engage with her bitterness. She was trying to elicit a fight from me and just couldn't get it. Some of the men who were pills I learned later had dying wives they were caring for at home or were struggling with health issues themselves that never got discussed.
In the non-profit world, I have to say that although I like some of the men I've worked with - I like to work with women better. On occasion, my assistant and I snipe at each other (she's been my assistant for going on 11 years) and usually its because we're seeing the same thing in different ways and one or both of us are over-stressed with the workload and or both of us are taking it out on each other. We usually have a sit down and make adjustments. If she's got too much to do, I help her. If I have too much to do - she just does her job and doesn't interfere. She's learned I have to have the space to finish things and will probably be touchy until I do. Generally, we both have personal issues that are underlying the reactions to our workloads, too. Men in my non-profit sector tend more to want to delegate when there's nobody to delegate to, so they end up doing very little. The women I've worked with in the non-profit sector tend to meet, discuss a task, break the task into parts, do it, and celebrate the finished product.
I find that giving the other person the benefit of the doubt (although I can stand my ground when I know I need to do that), generally results in an easing of the tension between us or among us. Later, more is usually revealed. Often, it isn't even job related.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 20th of September 2013 05:22:20 PM
Today, I go to work and the gal at the front desk whom I had to literally "melt down" w/kindness to a witch....well today, I go in and shes LEAVING......gave her notice on Wed...and Sat. is her last day....not even a week....
well I wish her good luck and tell her I hope it works out and I really didn't blame her...this job has benefits, good days off...its a bank...and she would be in the corporate part....she has had banking exper. and so I basically wish her the best
well...her computer , one of the programs is networked in w/the other lady at the middle office, whose computer the software is on, but "P" can "tap into it from her front desk" all u gotta do is "share" the file and program and someone else can "tap" into it....
well the computer goes down.....I got everything working but that one program which just would not start.....FInally i had to "let it go" and boss man called his tech and he is working on it remotely from his machine in their office
welll, ALL I said to the gal in the middle desk (who is difficult to work with) AND MARRIED to boss man.....All I said to her was "gee, I sure feel back about "P's" computer, going down and its her last days here....." and the gal says kinda snotty "well we shoudln't have messed with it" and shes looking at me like I did it......I said back "Well we didn't have any choice, it was shut down" and she comes back w/something to the tune of "well it was working SOME b4 you got on it" and I just said "well there nothing to say about it now, whats done is done....I TRIED" and she practically screams at me "WEll, I Don't want to hear another word from you about it"
I was so stunned, Like "what the H brought this on" but I just looked at her and smiled and walked away , turned my back on her....then I here her later "bashing me" to her son and hubby that I had to keep "talking to her about it"???? Like SHE brought it up....I said TWO sentences and walked away.....and she can't let it go.....
I am gonna go there from now on and just leave everyone alone....I am so sick of witchy women......I get along great w/the guys there, but omg....I can't believe how witchy women can be on the job.........I am the same way, day in and day out and I am struggling waaay more than any of them, especially miss personality plus, who tells me that if I don't study the bible, I will not have a high place in heaven, to which I replied that my spirituality was my business and my business alone and I was very happy w/my current approach.......oh yea, she is one of "those" who are preaching the bible, and its her way or the highway....I just ignore her for the most part and with this outburst , I am gonna ignore her more......
I try to help the front desk computer, I have people breathing down my throat..."when can I use the machine/???" and I am like "I am trying as fast as I can" but that one networked program I just could not get going......I didn't even charge them for my 1.5 hrs. extra b/c I did not get it going
I swear.....am I the oddball b/c I don't try to "covert" folks??? or b/c I am not a witch when I go to work....I can't even remember when I snapped at someone or talked to them the way this "article" snapped at me.
and ya know??? this is ALL b/c waaay back when we were on FB., we were talking about Higher power is your HP AS WE UNDERSTAND IT...and it was a discussion on MY wall...MY facebook, a bunch of us folks talking about whatever HP that works, etc., etc., and this gal get all steamed....jumped on me and unfriended me which I was glad not to have her on my FB....and I know she still holds that against me
I go to work.....I try to help folks.....I get along w/all my other clients and the male clients at this job......but what IS IT with people that they get THAT angry over something THAT stupid...when all I said was "well theres nothing to say about the computer............" and she has to go ballistic........WOW....glad I am not a guy and shes the only female on this planet......OH and she gets along GREAT with the gal at the front desk.........and i hear them bashing this one and that one and I dn't want any part of that crap.....
MY solution??? Go to work.......minimize interacting w/her........do my job well and just NOT get into anything w/her......just keep my distance......like I said the guys are great and the old gal what was on the front desk was really sweet.......This bosses wife is sorta like the gal at the front desk......Thinks she is better than people b/c of her material blessings and she is "married to the boss" I know.....I need this job so I need to be careful w/her and really I would rather ignore her, just deal w/her when I have to.......but I am beginning to think that this ONE job I have ea. Friday........I get on great w/all the other places I have been at.......but this place u got a front desk gal who showed up still drunk frm partying the night before and who is NEVER on time, and who is now (don't blame her for taking care of herself, but I can't imagine the bank telling her to walk out on a company) but anyway, she is giving them 3 days notice...........AND then I got "miss married to the boss and thinks she is above and better than the rest of us" and here I am the "1 day a weeker" who is always on time....tries to help when I can.....and some places it just doesn't pay to do anything but hide in my office....do what I was hired to do.......detach detach detach adn distance myself.......
I've seen this before....boss brings wifey into work and wifey thinks she is above and better than the rest of us worker ants..................I wish she would go back to banking......never cared for her but was always nice to her as I am everyone., but I am from now on gonna keep my distance......
Thanks for letting me vent
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Nothing like a work environment to mess up the day!
Work environment is a small portion of society. It takes all kinds to make up society. I have to admit, I have always preferred male bosses. Worked in the Corp world all my life, and boundaries and detaching are the best resource. Their personal lives are not our business and we can only control what we do and best not to pay attention to what they do. You are there to work and smile. I don't miss it. Hugs, Bettina
Hey Bettina, sooo true.....I always preferred male bosses as well...and I have them, but this one "boss wifey" is a real blister on my butt.......I agree..and I always did the boundary and detaching thingy....I just walked away from her as she yelled at my back......and i also agree........"work an smile" what I wouldn't GIVE to be able to say bollix to this all and LEAVE.....but w/my bad choices and losses through life, I am workin till I die........what a life......there are times I get so depressed thinking about it.........i have to break life down into little pieces
I swear...if the animal shelter offered me a job for $12 per hour working w/animals an I could make, say $1200 per mo. I would dump this office work in a heartbeat and take it.......I would rather shovel dog and cat doo doo and play w/the animals then work w/ witchy women......I just HATE this office work at times.......
thanks for the nice note.....Hugs back at ya.............and I hope U R feeling better since the loss of your hubby.......
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
GRATEFUL....I find that giving the other person the benefit of the doubt (although I can stand my ground when I know I need to do that), generally results in an easing of the tension between us or among us. Later, more is usually revealed. Often, it isn't even job related.
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well i gotta vent first, LOL....but ya know.....the bottom line is.....she isn't worth spending much more time on.....Like BEttina said, I pefer working w/males better......and its so funny b/c it was a male who did the most harm on me, but i get on w/guys better on the job...........no woman has ever been able to find fault w/my work b/c I am real good at what I do, but i just don't "play well" with witchy women.....I am just gonna navigate around her.....say "good am" or "have a nice weekend" and leave it at that......if i have to interface w/her beyond that, keep it courteous....professional.....brief......and I will not let her engage me, and I am wondering if she was trying to "bait me" or "attack me" for some personal reason.....well...if that is the case, it is her prob. not mine.......i am there to do the books....not be her sparring partner..........i will do the same w/her that i did w/the other witches i have had to work with......smile like a chimp and kill them w/politeness and kindness when I MUST deal with them and otherwise, DISTANCE........
U know?? if i got offered a job working w/animals, for less pay and more hours to make what I need to make to live on, I would take it.....office work SUCKS....I really am not an office person.......the politics and bashing of others....the gossipping.....the office politics I am NOT interested in.......and this gal thinks its her job to convert everyone.......oh yea, shes a case............i know she has had it agaisnt me since that facebook discussion i had w/some good friends about our take on higher power and HP is not about punishment, HP is about love an some other stuff we said that she took to be "unclean" I guess......oh well.....she needs to get over it
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Maybe I lived in a bubble in the corporate world. I just didn't have all those negative experiences. I know some women do, but for some reason - that's a big area in my life that was pretty much untouched by the things you've described above. Sorry, you've had such a hard go of it. I hope you are able to get a job working with animals. That would be a dream come true for you, wouldn't it?
Maybe I lived in a bubble in the corporate world. I just didn't have all those negative experiences. I know some women do, but for some reason - that's a big area in my life that was pretty much untouched by the things you've described above. Sorry, you've had such a hard go of it. I hope you are able to get a job working with animals. That would be a dream come true for you, wouldn't it?
well ya know....for the most part, i have been treated pretty good, for the MOST part.......i just hate needing to be there b/c of money......wish i could walk away........those few who do come at me, yea, it sucks to have to navigate around it....take it b/c I need the $$$$ ....its all about survival....when u r poor, u take more crap.......i just hope for karma ........life has been hard for me in soo many ways, but i have had some joy, too......and yea, i wish i could get a job working w/animals.......i would say bollix to this office crap in a heartbeat............i just don't "Play well" in the office kingdom where its dog eat dog adn the women are stabbing each other for corp. favors, all that gossip...bashing....politics.....step on anyone to get ahead.....
those ones who have screwed me, yea its hard b/c i need my jobs and can't just walk away.....so i gotta play the games....smile at them.........kill em with politeness/kindness when i want to behead them, and navigate around them..........
think i will visualize me working w/my beloved animals.......i always did love animals more than most people.............when next I go to the pound, i am gonna mention iam looking for a long term job......what the heck???? why not?????
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Exactly!!!!!!! Why not???? That's a good idea you've had for yourself there. A friend of mine did dog walking when she was between jobs. She loved it. Created flyers that she took around her neighborhood and got several jobs that way.
Exactly!!!!!!! Why not???? That's a good idea you've had for yourself there. A friend of mine did dog walking when she was between jobs. She loved it. Created flyers that she took around her neighborhood and got several jobs that way.
LOLOL......our neighborhood is mostly older folks NOT having to work like, me and they walk thier own dogs..
I am talking about getting into a shelter or something.....I gotta make enough to dump this office crap i am doing...........gonna visualize it........throw out my thought energy......."dog walking" hell.....my neighborhood is all blue collor......or ret......or no dogs...........tried it b4......everyone is struggling......
I am gonna put my resume on craigslist.....gotta figure out how to word it....... boss on fri. job may be wanting to put an add up for "P" b/c she is leaving, so I gotta title my ad in something that he would NEVER think to open up and read....
talk to my pound......put the energy out there.........I wanted to slow down, but this will mean more hours to make up for pay decrease I hope w/my ptsd I can do this............gonna put the resume and word out there..........see what happens.....
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I have been a female boss in the Corporate World for my entire business career. I found that madness and pettiness is an equal opportunity exploiter. Men and women bosses can be difficult .
I found the best way to survive and thrive in Corporate is to Stay in my own hula hoop ,take care of my responsibilities " Just do my job" and mind my own business.
I have been a female boss in the Corporate World for my entire business career. I found that madness and pettiness is an equal opportunity exploiter. Men and women bosses can be difficult .
I found the best way to survive and thrive in Corporate is to Stay in my own hula hoop ,take care of my responsibilities " Just do my job" and mind my own business.
Yep....I really don't want to do anything BUT what you are saying....in small offices its more difficult, but I will find a way......i really want out of this kind of work.........i want to work w/animals, but don't know how I can manage working more hours to make it work, but gonna put my feelers out there anyway.....and yea.......i am gonna even be MORE attentive and watchful.......re: doing my job and minding my own business....as u say........I am gonna do a step 10 on this......where am I slipping???? what do I need to change???? and HP to help me, while i am in this office jungle, keep the focus on my job....and my business as u say in your last line..........gotta figure out what holes the negativity are finding their way in and plug them........this gal isnt' even a BOSS....she is just married to one of the bosses............that makes it WORSE, lol.....spouses at work are terrible sometimes...they think b/c they are married to the "chief" they can run all over everyone else.......oh well......gotta focus on where I am letting the negativity in and plug it up..........AS i look for something else to do...........sick of the office milieu......never liked it......only the money is good.........step TEN here I come
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I think you did a good job keeping your side of the street clean. Your boss' wife may feel entitled to belittle you because she's your bosses wife. You didn't let her.
You can count yourself lucky that you only see this woman once a week. Isn't a good feeling to walk away and go home to your house and not find her there. Hugs! TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
I think you did a good job keeping your side of the street clean. Your boss' wife may feel entitled to belittle you because she's your bosses wife. You didn't let her.
You can count yourself lucky that you only see this woman once a week. Isn't a good feeling to walk away and go home to your house and not find her there. Hugs! TT
hahahaha...TT you gave me a good giggle......."Isn't a good feeling to walk away and go home to your house and not find her there" THAT was funny
Ohh if I found her at my house, I would commit "Hari Kari" or however u spell it.....LOL....yea, I just walked away. turned my back....and yea, she is kinda "better" then most people, LOL....thanks for giving me a giggle........so how goes it w/you????
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Good job keeping your cool. There's a lot of crazy out there- I'm not sure it's that you draw them to you... but I suspect they become less interested in you because you're armed with your Alanon toolbox. Just be your pleasant self to all and let it pass so she can then move onto other pastures.
Good job keeping your cool. There's a lot of crazy out there- I'm not sure it's that you draw them to you... but I suspect they become less interested in you because you're armed with your Alanon toolbox. Just be your pleasant self to all and let it pass so she can then move onto other pastures.
In support
well I did a step 9......i texted her and said "hey I was real disappointed about the computer, so IF I said anything to star this....sorry...." she texted me back adn said she "understood, no worries" so ya know?? I HONESTLY don't remember saying anything to her but in the rush and disappointment of trying to get the thing fixed so we could take cust. payments, it is POSSIBLE, not likley, but I COULD have done something she misunderstood....I just don't honestly know, so I figured....."keep the peace.....say what I said above and let it go" I am hoping I can find more fun stuff to do then this stuff, and until that day comes, I gotta make sure my side of the street is clean...and it is possible with a big "P" that I could have made a gesture or a remark, not even thinking and set her off somehow.....mystery but what the heck......it costs nothing to make sure my side is clean.....she is "difficult" so Like everyone is alluding here, just smile....do my job......myob........and let it all pass, like u said.......Thanks, Bud.....I appreicate everyone's esh on this........sometimes i think I am "velcro" and all the jerks stick to me, LOL.......this world is so "angry" all the haters and fighters and just "anger" in this world.......such negativity..............a BIG lesson in detachment...........
Thanks to all of you for GREAT ESH , AS usual, I mean what else do ya get on this board but good friendship, good esh and just a GOOD bunch of people.......I feel better
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Hugs! TT