The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
A new member came to my F2F meeting and I saw myself-scared, not knowing what to expect, not knowing the prayer we say together or the format. I felt relief and gratitude after my first meeting and I hope she did too. A few of us spoke to her afterwards (myself included) and a man gave her the newcomer package. I didn't know if she felt like a pack of wolves was descending upon her or a bunch of folks who want to help and understand her situation. I guess I'll see if she comes back next week. I see progress in myself I didn't think was possible. Sometimes I find myself dancing in my office to music-I haven't done that in years. Something powerful is happening to me. Thanks everyone, Lyne
Thanks Lyne. Great share. I know what you mean about descending on newcomers. I want so much to share the amazing gifts of this program, but I don't want to frighten the person by being too over the top! It's always so good to see newcomers come back. Then I remember how long it took me to get my butt to that first meeting. All in God's time.
Thanks Lyne. Great share. I know what you mean about descending on newcomers. I want so much to share the amazing gifts of this program, but I don't want to frighten the person by being too over the top! It's always so good to see newcomers come back. Then I remember how long it took me to get my butt to that first meeting. All in God's time.
Oh this is exactly what I was thinking when we had the alanon meet in town b4 these 2 power hungry ladies messed it up......At one meeting, I was the greeter and I got the pleasure of meeting 3 ladies from either AU or NZ..I forgot, but they wanted to sit by me...that was fine by me...anyway, the 2 hyenas running the meet, were letting their "pets" share like really long shares, on and on and on and when I shared, i watched the clock and I swear....I was under the 7 min. max. they said and she cut me OFF...put up her hand and cut me OFF...I told her I was NOT done and I was finishing my share...and I did....well, needless to say the newbies saw this difference in treatment...the "pets" sharing long shares and I get the old "Palm stop sign" so they refused to share.....
it was a disaster............we go outside and the newbies are thinking "is this the way USA alanon is???? rude, control, minimizing shares on some, letting othrs go on and on?????" I told them "no, please dont judge this meet by those ladies......"
I was sooo upset b/c these ladies were so nice and wanted to work their program, and that old hyena who was running the room w/the other hyena just cut me off...then glares at the newbies and TELLS them to share....Well of course, they refused.........OMG...it was awful......
Outside in the parking lot, I heard folks w/more exper. then i did complaining and vowing not to let this go on...
I never found out what went on but the next week, that meet was gone.....and it never re-opened......I hope those newbies found a healthy place like I did to share......I really care about the new comers....on this board and the other board I am on, here at MIP, I do my best to acknowledge the new comers b/c I remember how alone and frightened I was, taking on recovery and my whole life, facing it for the first time, facing ME for the first time.....there is noting worse than to get either bombarded by pressure people or to be snapped at or intimidated like those poor gals I sat by
I am glad to see others here and all around MIP care about the newbies......b/c ya know???? we ALL have something to learn and to share....
some of the greatest shares I have seen or esh on my shares have come from new folks.....so you newbies out there reading...U guys have just as much value and your input is just as good as anyone else.....
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
What a beautiful visual of how first meetings go and how much others are wanting to give the support that has been missing for many of us, for so long. Often newcomers will visit this site and their first question about face to face meetings are..."what are they like" you my friend just explained it so easily. Through your eyes, my eyes, the new comers eyes and many others.
Well... as with most things said on here , I can relate. I have 2 F2F meetings under my belt. I am going to continue to go, in hopes that things will kick in, but I have some dissapointments about it so far. I feel there could be a much more enriching experience, if things were run differently. A good deal of the meeting is spent reading from some books, There seems to be too much reading, and not enough discussion about what was read. I mean, I can read at home. There are 2 women who are share hogs, and go no and on about their personal lives, and stuff that has nothing to do with why we are there. They are young, and one in perticular is a real know it all. And as you said, the clock ticks by. I have things to say or ask, and never get to. The women in charge goes around the room when there is about 5 minutes left, asking how was your week. Most people just pass. I asked to get a sponsor, was told I have to come to a couple of months worth of meetings before I can TRY to find somebody that MIGHT be willing to do it. Don't know if that is the norm, but I feel like I could use one now to show me the ropes, and also that's not a very welcoming response.
The woman in charge spares no words on letting you know how much experience she has and how many years she has been getting good at this LOL!@! But manages to not be helpful, more condesending than anything.
