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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Mean Spirits & How to Deal.....
Post Info TOPIC: Mean Spirits & How to Deal.....
Jozie


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Mean Spirits & How to Deal.....
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Hello MIP Family <3 Sorry its been so Long!

I have been Sitting Here Pondering yet another Life Gone to Addictions... Yet Trying to Grasp the Ridicule, and Harsh Slur's from the Judgements in his Death! Tho I Grew up with this Man and Haven't Seen him in Prob. 15yrs, I Still Remember the Man he WAS! But to Sit & Listen about How People Judge, and Condemn him like he was A Villian in the Eyes of All others, really Breaks My Heart, But also Make me Grateful I Found Recovery!

This Man didn't Harm "Physically" Anyone but Himself, He was a Lover but at the Same time, You Mess with his Friends, Family or His Gal and he would then become someone else! In My Younger Years he Helped me More then Once Get out of Harms Way, and for that I WIll always be Grateful...

I think back to the Person I was before Landing Here at MIP, And i Was Just as Ignorant & Judgemental as those I Speak of, it was Easier to Judge then Understand! I have been here Since Dec. 2008 when I Lost My Afather to this Disease, and I have to say, I have Needed Every Meeting, Every Encounter with those in the Program, Every Share of ESH on this Board, whether it be for Fun, Tears, Laughs, or Just being in the Presents of...

To those that have not Been here Long! Absorb ALL That you Can! And Never think... "I know it all now!" The Wisdom and Love that Comes from these Rooms, Boards, and for Me Family... Is Beyond anything I have Ever Known in my upbringing in an Alcoholic Home! I have So Many things to be Grateful for... I ALWAYS did! I Just didn't see them as Blessings then!

This Disease is HARD! I am a Recovering Alcoholic Myself and Next Month will Mark 3 Years Sober! I Never In My Life would have Dreamed that ONE: I Could Do it! TWO: That I Would EVER Admit it or THREE: How My Life has Changed for the Better Because of it! God Works in All Of Us, and I Believe that when our Time to Shine Comes, He Gives the Signals, we just need to Stop Ignoring them!

All This has been in My Face, My Recovery has been a Long & Very Grulling Road, but My LIFE has been Enriched with "True" Friends, "True" Grace, "True" Compassion, "True" Hurt, & "True" Love... The Lessons that Are Here for us All is all in having an Open Mind, and Being WILLING to want Change! If Am Willing... I have a Leg to stand on! Even if it takes me a While, My Faith will Lead me there!

Just a Brief Update: I Think the Last time I was Here I had went On a Harley Trip to the Great Lakes, It was Amazing... Can't wait to Do it again, Many of You Traveled with Me :) ... My AGram is Still Very Much in her Disease of Alcohol & Gambling since her Stroke... We had to put her in an assisted Living Home, for she can no longer take care of herself, I Still Take care of her 2-4 days a week & my Aunt Picks up the Other days! and it truly is a Heartbreaking situation that I Just Can't Turn My Back to! She turned 89 in July, tho she still tells all she is 88 because she lost most short term Memory in the stroke... Spending Time with her is Very Hard when all she wants is a Drink (Which she hasn't had since her Stroke in June) and to Gamble, My Aunt On Occassions will take her to a local Club so she can Play "Tip Jars" and What not, but it is Truly her Only Joy, aside from Spending Time with us, and Going out to Dinner on Occassions! My Son's Soccer Season has Me Running Nuts, 6days a week, but I know he only has One more Year, So I'm Doing My Best to Obsorb Every Moment Like its My Last ... My Schedule is Crazy, but on Good Weeks, I Make 2 F2F Meetings a Week, (Usually Right after I Visit Gram, Which HELPS!) So My Program is Still in Slow Motion, but as the Soccer Season slows, I Plan to Jump back on like Gang Busters & Dig a little Deeper... Its Time...

I Hope this Finds you All Well, and I Would Love to Hear Your ESH on How you Deal with Others "Mean" Spirits at the Sight of those Lost to Addictions... I have Lost so Many, tho Each Seem so Differant... 90% of the time if Seems, Most Are to Addictions...

Thanks for Being Here! I Can't, He Can....

Love & Prayers

Jozie



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hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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Dear Jozie
It is good to hear from you and to appreciate your profound recovery  Thank you for the update.  I too have encountered the negative people who do not understand the nature alcoholism and will not accept the disease concept as the truth  This is even in my own family where there are many "alcoholics.
My son died from this disease at the age of 41  I know I cannot change there minds regarding alcoholism however I always validate his life and his accomplishments and refuse to allow their negativity to overshadow his life .
 
I remind them that he was  a beautiful person, accomplished a great deal in his short life. He had a successful career, purchased his first home at age 25,. build a race car and won many races at the track, was a loving kind, compassionate  son  who had a dreadful disease. 
 I have set up a web site dedicated to his life and invite them to visit it. I am proud of whom he was and grateful he was in my life.That usually ends the conversation


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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
neshema2


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Jozie   This Disease is HARD! I am a Recovering Alcoholic Myself and Next Month will Mark 3 Years Sober! I Never In My Life would have Dreamed that ONE: I Could Do it! TWO: That I Would EVER Admit it or THREE: How My Life has Changed for the Better Because of it! God Works in All Of Us, and I Believe that when our Time to Shine Comes, He Gives the Signals, we just need to Stop Ignoring them!

All This has been in My Face, My Recovery has been a Long & Very Grulling Road, but My LIFE has been Enriched with "True" Friends, "True" Grace, "True" Compassion, "True" Hurt, & "True" Love... The Lessons that Are Here for us All is all in having an Open Mind, and Being WILLING to want Change! If Am Willing... I have a Leg to stand on! Even if it takes me a While, My Faith will Lead me there!

**********************************

Hey my sweetness, we have known each other a LOOONG time and I have loved watching you grow for a little grief filled ball into this amazing young lady who has accepted life on life's terms and you give out so much goodness and light while you walk your journey......

I just love hearing from you......keep up the fantastic work.............BIG hugs to my good friend........So glad U stopped in and said hello........and I can sooo relate to HP and signals.....trying to pay attention more, myself, LOL........hugssssss



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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!! 
Bettina


~*Service Worker*~

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Jozie,

What we learn from Judgemental people is an example of what we will not come to be. Also maybe its not so much that they are mean but ignorant and passing moral judgement. My husband who I was separated from passed in July from this disease. I was fortunate that many people supported me and they were honestly compassionate and could recognize the good man and not judge the disease.

All we can do is live our lives by example and not worry about the rest and what they think. Sounds like your doing a great job
in your recovery and I say congratulations to you .

Hugs, Bettina



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Bettina
bud


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Thank you for your share- speaks volumes on so many levels and gives much to ponder, as well.

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Rose50


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(((hotrod)))

What a beautiful tribute to your son. Thanks for sharing.

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afglin


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Two things I do when mean spirits are around me are tricks I use in detaching. The cool part...nobody but ME knows I am doing it. One is I visualize a red A on their forehead for addict or alcoholic. And that reminds me the disease is talking...not the person I see standing before me. Another is I tell myself they just called me a chair. And since I know I am not a chair, those words don't hurt me. I don't have to believe what they say to me or about me...just because he says it does not make it true.

One tip I have not been using very long it I carry a q-tip in my pocket when I know I will be around such people or situations. And the acronym for q-tip is Quit Taking It Personally.

LIN

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Lin
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Mean Spirits & How to Deal.....