The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It has been a while since I've been on here. I will have to update soon, but I was reading through different posts one in particular caught my attention, so I am going to share my story. Especially with anyone who may feel defeated. I have different mental health problems starting with borderline personality disorder (at first thought to be bipolar), depression, and social anxiety. It has been a bit of a nightmare. The stress of my rocky marriage to my AH really kicked everything into high gear, because I was not taking the necessary steps to maintain my health. You see, even though you may not have a substance abuse addiction, the addictions of your loved ones really will take a toll on your mental and/or even physical health. I allowed myself to continue spiraling out of control. I allowed the verbal abuse, manipulation, and broken promises from my husband eat me alive. I was obsessed with trying to fix him, and I put the rest of my life on hold. I grieved every aspect of my life that was not working out the way I expected it to. I just didn't see hope for the future anymore. I was letting my husband's choices defeat me.I started thinking about suicide. I can't tell you exactly how I made the decision, but I decided to seek help. I went to the hospital, and was admitted into the inpatient psychiatric facility there. I won't get into the details of my stay, but while I was there I finally started understanding the importance of me being in recovery. I, in a sense, had to hit my 'rock bottom' before I decided that I had enough. Just because my husband is an alcoholic doesn't mean I have to just let MY life go to waste. I can still pursue different dreams, different goals and you can too! Life is so precious. Everyone has something to offer this world. You can't let someone elses addictions ruin your life. It hurts to see a loved one go through the things that addiction brings to the table. It hurts to see their health declining, their personalities changing. It just hurts. I understand that deep down pain, but believe me when I say that it can get better. I still hurt for my husband. I still have bad days, but Al-Anon truly helps when you truly allow it to. Let go of the control you think you have over this other person, and take care of yourself! You are worth it!
Thanks for your candid share - e/s/h! You are a living example to me of recognizing that we didn't cause it, we can't control it and we can't cure it (in another person), but there is hope for us if we choose to admit we need help for ourselves. Thanks, Lay.
I can't tell you exactly how I made the decision, but I decided to seek help. I went to the hospital, and was admitted into the inpatient psychiatric facility there. I won't get into the details of my stay, but while I was there I finally started understanding the importance of me being in recovery. I, in a sense, had to hit my 'rock bottom' before I decided that I had enough. Just because my husband is an alcoholic doesn't mean I have to just let MY life go to waste. I can still pursue different dreams, different goals and you can too! Life is so precious. Everyone has something to offer this world. You can't let someone elses addictions ruin your life. It hurts to see a loved one go through the things that addiction brings to the table. It hurts to see their health declining, their personalities changing. It just hurts. I understand that deep down pain, but believe me when I say that it can get better. I still hurt for my husband. I still have bad days, but Al-Anon truly helps when you truly allow it to. Let go of the control you think you have over this other person, and take care of yourself! You are worth it!