The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My birthday is coming up, and after YEARS of not doing anything to celebrate it except to stay at home with my AH (if he is in town) and my children, this year I really, really wanted to go out and do something. I still don't know a lot of people or have a large group of friends here, but I reached out to my small circle, and everybody seemed excited about going out for a few hours this Saturday. I got myself so excited for this outing, that was just going to be about me and having a fun time.
Everybody has cancelled. It wasn't a big group...only about 6 people...and of course, everyone who has cancelled has a good reason. But I can feel myself spiraling down into that place of immense self-pity, where I feel like I am not a priority to anyone. I know in my mind that I am responsible for my own happiness. I've come so far in that understanding, and I'm angry with myself that I am letting this disappointment trigger my old insecurities and dysfunctions.
I am so very sorry for the disappointment. Be gentle with yourself, and remember that you are very important to your MIP Family, HP, your children and many others.
Enjoy your day, maybe try a meeting, a movie and celebrate.
I'm sorry for your disappointment. I have found that it sometimes is hard to rely on others, even when all have the best of intentions. What would be the next best thing? Celebrating your birthday with family on the actual day and celebrating out with others the following week? I hope you are able to find something that makes it special and wonderful for you! Wishing you a very happy birthday!
Stephanie! Good for you! Taking an action step on your behalf. Even if others can't celebrate your birth day with you -- you are choosing to do it with and for yourself.
I celebrate almost the entire month of my birth in all sorts of ways - with myself and with others. I realized one day just wasn't enough for me and crammed in too many high expectations for one day.
AWW, Stephanie. I'm so sorry; I completely understand how that feels. I, too, do not have many close friendships where I currently reside and the same sort of thing happened to me last year. On my birthday, it rained and only about two people showed up when about 15 had said they would come out for drinks and dinner with our group of friends. I went back in my brain to all the other birthday outings I had attended and how many other people showed up to them. I was really, really upset and it still bothers me to be quite honest.
WHy not propose that you guys reconvene another time and celebrate your birthday then, since no one was able to attend on Saturday? I'm certain that these friends probably didn't know how much it meant to you.
I'm sorry your plan fell through and I understand about the disappointment and how it can spiral into self pity. I think it's great you posted about it rather than stuffing your feelings. It is a disappointment! These kinds of disappointments usually make me cry and momentarily I get an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. That's just the way it is but feeling it is how I get through to the other side to regain my balance - my sanity and serenity. You can have a great birthday, Stephanie! A spa day or giving back to the community by volunteering somewhere or buying yourself something that you feel is a small luxury. Zoo anyone? What have you been denying yourself? And ya know what? Don't let the change of plans discourage you from inviting the friends for another day when people can make it to enjoy your birthday. It's never too late to celebrate you! You're worth it! TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
