The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
He'd probably go off the deep end anyway, mm, whether you decided to do something for yourself without him or decided not to do something for yourself with him. Good to see you are choosing to make up to yourself for the past by making a change in the present. Spending time in peace with your family and others who don't make you cry?? Awesome promise you just made to yourself. Let us know how the weekend goes for you as you treat yourself to what it is that you know makes you happy!!!!
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 13th of September 2013 11:19:57 PM
For almost four years I cannot remember having a good weekend. Starting the same pattern tonight. However, this weekend I will not worry if A is drinking, will not obsess about where he is who he is with. I will not walk on eggshells afraid to piss him off naturally he is mad at me its a given. And you know what, I will spend time in peace with my family and people who do not make me cry. Or even by myself but frankly where A is and what he is doing will not take another weekend away from me. He owes me 4 years worth of them, if I take 1 weekend to regroup and he goes off the deep end it is not my issue.
Thank God for realizing that I can't make things better by staying the same.
Also, I would be thrilled to spend the weekend here with this group working through this pain instead of bawling my eyes out because I did not say or do
the right thing. Sorry can not figure out how to edit my post but somehow I feel like no one here will beat me down over it. Thank you all for giving me back a small shred of sanity.
I can't talk for the others, but I can say with GREAT CERTAINTY that it has taken me almost a full year trying to figure out how to get an avatar and signature on the board. So, no, I sure won't beat you down over anything you try to do on this board. Now, if I can just figure out how to get an emoticon from the second page, I'll throw myself a "SHE DID IT PARTY!!!!!" If you can figure that out and share the way of it with me, I'll throw us both a cyberspace party.
Grateful I would absolutely love that. It has been too long since a party didn't involve drinking until their was either a high drama fight or A ignoring me and drinking until he and his amazing "friends" I.e. people who do not care if he drinks and drives or spends his whole pay check on shots and passes out in vomit.. Bitter much? I am so happy to spend my Friday here, what a blessing.
Maybe I can help with editing? Just press the edit key on your original post, make whatever changes you want to make. Then, just press the submit post key. The post doesn't always save in the way we typed it. I don't know why that's true. I choose to go back to edit them and sometimes it helps.
For almost four years I cannot remember having a good weekend. Starting the same pattern tonight. However, this weekend I will not worry if A is drinking, will not obsess about where he is who he is with. I will not walk on eggshells afraid to piss him off naturally he is mad at me its a given. And you know what, I will spend time in peace with my family and people who do not make me cry. Or even by myself but frankly where A is and what he is doing will not take another weekend away from me. He owes me 4 years worth of them, if I take 1 weekend to regroup and he goes off the deep end it is not my issue. Thank God for realizing that I can't make things better by staying the same.
CHEERING YOU ON......EVERY step of the way............very very nice , couragous and "recovery serious" post....LOVE it when I read a post that says "I am TAKIN care of ME" U GO lady!!!!!
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Thank you, I will try that. Sorry for being so bitter right now, I just can't believe I wasted 4 years of weekends in this cycle. Honestly pathetic as it is I cannot remember the last weekend I was able to relax and not be in a turmoil over this insanity...
MM: You've made a promise to yourself. We've witnessed it, sister. A promise to spend time with people who don't make you cry. Seems to me you're being awfully hard on yourself, my friend, right now. You didn't waste 4 years of weekends in this cycle from my vantage point. You just weren't ready yet to make the changes you're ready to make now. Now, you're ready to relax and to let go of some turmoil. That's all that matters now. The rest of it - all in the past. You're hurting and you don't need to apologize to any of us for feeling what you feel. It's what you feel right now. And it will change one day at a time, one step at a time. (((MM))) We understand.
Sis believe it and don't hold any personal resentments...just let the past be the past and live in the day. I am happy with you that you have come to this decision. I pray you will work it for yourself and not because he stole anything from you. You knew what you knew back then and you did the best you could with what you had and had you known then what you know now it would have been better. Now is your time...Wow Your Time!! Do it for you, because of you and with you being the celebrant. Have a great weekend. Turn him over. ((((hugs))))
What a positive post ..we become stuck in situations and accept that this is how it's meant to be, once we get clarity we get courage to change and we can choose to spend time in a positive atmosphere and find ourselves again.
Ugh, I had a slight setback but it helped me remember why I choose me this weekend. It's my brother's birthday tomorrow I am going to spend some time with my son today, and then my brother and grandmother tomorrow. I can do things like bake a cake today, go to yoga and just let the rest go. If A likes to hang around people who drink until they puke instead it is not the end of the world, I am not going to be around it. Thanks for listening and now back to working on letting go. These excuses to hang around the people who encourage the heavy drinking are not my problem.
I am actually doing pretty well with this even though I had a slight setback. It feels so good to have the dignity of not freaking out and behaving like a psycho over his choices.
Maybe I can help with editing? Just press the edit key on your original post, make whatever changes you want to make. Then, just press the submit post key. The post doesn't always save in the way we typed it. I don't know why that's true. I choose to go back to edit them and sometimes it helps. 
..we become stuck in situations and accept that this is how it's meant to be, once we get clarity we get courage to change and we can choose to spend time in a positive atmosphere and find ourselves again.