The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Sometimes our bodies can manifest our emotions as physical pain; however, I would first encourage you to exhaust all potential medical problems rather than guessing or making assumptions. If you trust your physician, take action per his/her recommendations. You can always get a second opinion if you have doubt.
Pain is a signal that something is wrong and needs to be addressed. If the doctors suggest that it may be stress-induced, then there are many ways to reduce stress... visual exercises, physical exercise, sleep, good nutrition, meditation, Alanon, etc.
Living with a loved one who is affected by addiction is much too much for most of us to handle on our own. Please attend face to face Alanon meetings and the online MIP meetings, get a sponsor and start working the steps if you aren't already. Give the program at least 6 months before making any major decisions.
I hope you feel better soon.
-- Edited by bud on Friday 13th of September 2013 05:54:31 PM
Many prayers for you who are struggling with chronic pain that seems to have no physical explanation or does. I'm one who can barely stand a headache. I can't imagine 6 straight weeks of abdominal pain or even having all those tests done. Much, much support for you. It won't take the pain away or render you a diagnosis and a remedy, but hopefully it will help you cope a little better.
PS I had my gallbladder removed when I was 27. After recovery, I couldn't believe how bad I had felt for so long physically. I knew how bad I felt because of how good I felt following removal of a diseased organ that the body doesn't need. Surgery then for gallbladder removal was much more extensive. I was in recovery for 6 to 8 weeks. Today, it's usually done with laser and the recovery time is greatly reduced. I wouldn't hesitate having the surgery again. There was a marked increase in energy, positive outlook and a marked decrease in weight gain and a lot of physical complaints.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 13th of September 2013 06:11:55 PM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 13th of September 2013 06:13:38 PM
I have been experiencing abdominal pain for the last 6 weeks, and the doctors so far cannot find anything "wrong." Of course, the pain is still here but no matter what type of stress relief I employ the pain remains.Next is either a medication or for them to look inside my intestine with a camera since the ultrasound yielded nothing. Could be a gall stone; if I do the endoscopy we might find out. But I don't want to do a gall bladder surgery.
I know the pain started when I really had a crash over being powerless over my husband's drinking and not having strong enough personal boundaries. Now I feel powerless over the pain, and am getting so frustrated!
Some of my friends are telling me that this is a sign that I need to leave my relationship after 2 years of stress (escape!), and my husband is saying that if I'm not happy I should just go (then he says I'm way too influenced by my friends). Sigh.
Has anyone experienced the pain, and turned it over to their higher power? I can already tell that the next right step would be to turn over the obsessing and worry about the pain and its causes!
All I can do is send you support and encouragement....
yes, the body can feel emotional pain, but I would rule out a physical problem first.....stomach/digestive issues can be manifestations of being "sick of ones situations" or an indicator of high stress, helplessness , a lot of things.... they say back pain can be a an emotional feeling of carrying too many burdens.....so yea, the body can "express" emotions
BUT and I say a big BUT...I would make sure w/doctors that there is not a gallstone, or something else that needs to be taken care of....your body is telling you something...U were right to go to doctors, but be patient, sometimes they don't find the problem right away...
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I am going through much the same situation as you. Chronic digestive issues that have been quite painful. I separated from my AH of 32 years this past January and filed for divorce. I have been struggling with letting go of the relationship for months. This has coincided with my digestive problems. One of the things I finally came to terms with a couple of weeks ago is my need to Let go and Let God. It has been a very long process. I dearly love my AH, but now my health from the stress of years of not facing the reality I cannot control his life, or his drinking has led my to Step 1 of Alanon. I am powerless over alcohol, and my life has become unmanageable. Yesterday, I had an endoscopy and will get the results soon. I am hoping for the best and moving forward with the focus being my health and well being. My prayers are with you.
Hi Clou, wow, we are kindred spirits! Except I've been with my AH for 17 1/2 years and was in a drunk fog for most of it until 20 months ago when I quit.
We've been fighting and almost divorcing ever since I quit!
How was the endoscopy? It intimidates me because I think I will gag and hurt later. No worse than the dentist? I can handle the dentist pain.
pain is a big one with me... I am an adult child... had tummy pain at age 8 or 9. It turned to migraine at age 14. Went to doctor a lot to try and get to the bottom of it.
Trying to apply detachment in the face of this is really really tough. I have had to live with this pain and tension for most of my life. And yes, Alanon has been a real life raft.
I am getting much better now- marriage is going okay... we have a bit of financial security...
...still looking for solutions. Getting over the anger and hurt was a big step...
Yes I have experienced intestinal problems shortly after my marriage to an alcoholic. I was hospitalized because of severe pain which no one could diagnose Finally an GI Serious turned up an ulcer at age 33 and doctors told me it would continue to return unless I changed how I respond to life
Still take the med. but with alanon tools not as often
Hi grateful to be, I am glad to hear that you aren't suffering more now that you removed an organ! I've been thinking it's like foot surgery - you always regret it when you realize surgery could have been the last resort.
The doctor says that ulcers in North America are extremely rare these days. They have narrowed it down to the H. Pylori bacteria and when my blood tests didn't show it, they said there's no way I have one. Stress or not.
If they still don't find anything I can ask them to look again.
No, Irukan, you're correct. It doesn't work that way with gallbladder surgery. It is much better to have it removed than to suffer with nausea, back pain, chronic stomach aches, frequent heartburn, malaise, fatigue and everything else a bad gallbladder can cause. It was amazing to me how different life looked following the removal of that thing. And - I could finally eat something besides soda crackers and milk without a flare up that resulted in frequent trips to ER until a resident could tell me what the problem really was. My doctor couldn't diagnose it after multiple tests. Then, after the surgeon removed it and he was the assistant, he told me the gallbladder was extremely inflamed and why didn't I ever let him know that.
"What???!!!! I've been in and out of your office, ER, with multiple tests and you kept telling me there was nothing wrong." I got rid of him shortly after getting rid of the gallbladder. If it is gallbladder trouble, you won't get better without surgery in many cases. Nothing to lose and everything to gain in my experience.
Well unfortunately i have been a chronic physical pain sufferer since 1995 and chronic emotional pain sufferer for...ahem...a few decades so i know the color of that horse if you understand my meaning. i had been 16-17 years without a diagnosis primarily because my doctors were a very incurious lot. This is one of the many crosses women over the age of 50 have to bear, men too after the age of about 60 in this country now that techs instead of diagnosticians do the tests and evaluating of patient complaints. if i tell the minimally educated person giving me the ultrasound that's not where it hurts, s/he says this is what the doctor ordered and another doctor i'll never meet reads the imperfect test and reports back the 'normal' results. so keep searching for answers until a skilled internist or diagnostician nails down the cause. all too often women are diagnosed with "emotional" problems causing their problems. in this regard we havent progressed much in this country from the phrase "its all in your head."
That being said, yes i agree with the others who understand that this disease can cause a host of physical problems. ulcers are not always caused by h. pylori. sometimes overproduction of gastric acids from faulty glands and organs can cause them too. sometimes you have to go at the problem from "both ends" not to be indelicate which means have a colonoscopy done also or swallowing one of the little camera capsules thingies. I have coped with my chronic pain all these years using meditation, nutrition, medications, exercises routines such as yoga or other stress relieving therapies like mindfulness. they all help but ultimately coping with pain is an inside job AFTER all physical causes have been ruled out. These days family doctors just dont do the complete and exhaustive mystery illness search and most are not terrific diagnosticians. So find a highly recommended one in your area or state after much research and referral. then check the docs out on Angie's list before picking one. and last but not least keep coming back!
I forgot to mention please dont take my word for gospel! i'm educated about a lot of medical things but i'm not a doctor. i've just been around the medical block way too many times and these things are what i've learned along the way.
I took what I needed, which was your experience, strength, and hope! I especially liked the statements about how we as women are still dealing with prevailing attitudes that pre-diagnose us as being hysterical and for everything to be in our heads.
Irukan: I suffer from chronic pain, I took meds. for it but now I am off them because I no longer see a specialist. He was a crack-pot anyway. So, I let God heal me for now until I can see the doctor another specialist. I take something for the pain every morning & night before I go to bed. Simple as that, & oh yeah, I take molasses for the pain too. My husband said it cured his pas arthritis. So, maybe I have a chance!
Hi Irukan...
