The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Your son might be a binge drinker like mine. He will drink a lot and when he wants to stop or runs out of money the panic attacks and anxiety starts and he can't handle it. Binges for about 4 days then 3 more to recover enough to call, message or get to a hospital. I am trying not to panic anymore. Like the one I had this last weekend.
My son is jobless and soon to be homeless. I will pray but let him figure it out now on his own. I will not step in and take care of it for me...to make me feel good because that's what I do....I'm the fixer.
I'm so glad your son called you because you needed it right this moment this day.
You and your son will be in my prayers and I pray his HP takes him out of your arms and into his and show him the way.
(((( hugs ))))
PS: All of us have stress but alcohol is not involved. That's the disease taking over.
-- Edited by Cathyinaz on Thursday 12th of September 2013 03:32:55 PM
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I got a phone call this afternoon from my son. He is in the hospital (yet again). He told me he was having a panic attack and heart palpitations on Sunday and a roommate called 911. My suspicion is that he was drinking again. He can't handle stress and with being jobless and still waiting for his unemployment to kick in, I believe he went back to the alcohol.
I told him I loved him and had faith that he would make the right decisions so he could get off this merry-go-round. I also said that it's all up to him - he has to do the work.
At least I know he is alive. Where there is breath, there is hope.
Thank you guys for your continued prayers and support!
I told him I loved him and had faith that he would make the right decisions so he could get off this merry-go-round. I also said that it's all up to him - he has to do the work.
At least I know he is alive. Where there is breath, there is hope.
OMG....So glad U heard from him......and yea, where there is breath, there is hope........Good job, telling him that he had to do the work.....U did GREAT!!!!!!
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Thanks, Rose, for the update. Good that we have our intensive Al-Anon program, too! You did so well with this today! Whether he follows through on a program or not, you are. That has made so much difference for me between how I entered the program and how I'm still working the program. The most difficult program work for me has been in releasing my adult children to their own lives and choices - whether I agree with them or not. Glad you're here. You help me continue to work my program, too.
Ditto and kudos to ALL the "A" moms we got here who are all doing a marvelous job, loving their ill children and yet working strong programs.....My hat goes off to all the mom's of alcoholic and drug addicted kids....
Kudos to ALL YOU FINE MOTHERS...........Really....I get on here and read shares that make me want to cry.
I SOOO wish my mom had loved ME like YOU guys love YOUR kids......that is the God's truth
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Awwwwwwwwww. Thanks, Neshema. I think in many ways we all help to re-parent ourselves and each other. You sure are a big help to us as I hope we are to you.
(((Cathy))) - yes, my son is a binge drinker. The last time he ended up in the hospital he was drinking for 5 days. I'm sure that's what happened again as it would explain the panic attacks. Why is it that they don't remember and repeat this over and over again. I guess it's part of the disease. He's been in the hospital since Tuesday, so today he's recovered enough to call me.
Honestly, I am getting so tired of this. Nothing changes if nothing changes and although he told me he would go into outpatient intensive therapy I don't get the feeling that he is totally committed to recovery. He does say he wants it but is he willing to do the work? I have serious doubts.
I am guilty of being the fixer too - to make me feel good and lessen my worry and anxiety but that never lasts. It's no solution.
((Neshema))) -
I SOOO wish my mom had loved ME like YOU guys love YOUR kids......that is the God's truth.
Believe me that there are many times I wish I could detach more fully from my son. It's a struggle. Thank you for your ESH!!
In most hospitals social workers will come in and give them all the information needed to seek help free and fee based. AA is the biggie. These lists are extensive with places to go and people that can help the alcoholic. If my son doesn't or won't use this vast list I found there is nothing I can do.
My son wants it too quit too...it's a disease most alcoholics can't control by themselves and until they fully quit the denial and take that first step they will continue to drink. They can't help it. Read about alcoholism and learn all you can about it. What we do is keeping them comfortable with our enabling and that gives them no desire to change.
I will let my son feel the pain, the pain he needs to know for the choices he's made. I will do it because I don't want to outlive him. I will do the work needed with a good outcome or bad....I will admit I am powerless over alcohol and my life has become unmanageable. I will take care of me and pray, then let go let God take charge.
You will know when he's ready. He might not tell you, he won't ask for your help, he will go to AA on his own, sit down and give his life over to other alcoholics that can help him because they know his problems. They have been there. He will surrender and fulling admit he is powerless over alcohol.
Take care and remember to keep coming back because you are not alone.
(((( hugs ))))
PS: I will detach with love and kindness because I love my son more than anything in this world. I will give him a gift of letting go so he can have a desire to change.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Rose, I'm so glad you heard from him. You posted so many great things, all of you did. This gives me hope that I can lovingly detach and let my son live his life as he chooses. The fear SUCKS. I hate it.
Great news, thank you for sharing it! I
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More of LET GO & LET GOD, Less of GRAB ON & LET ME!
Awwwwwwwwww. Thanks, Neshema. I think in many ways we all help to re-parent ourselves and each other. You sure are a big help to us as I hope we are to you.