The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This kind of fits in with what I experienced tonite.
I was searching thru some papers tonite for some lost info. I went thru a box of old Christmas and Birthday cards.
There among them were cards from my husband from Christmas's and Birthday past. I couldnt believe this was the person he was just 20 and even 10 years ago. I couldnt believe what he allowed this disease to do to him. Such expressions of love in those cards. This is how I will remember him.
He was drinking then too, but never stopping he became a shadow of himself, loosing his confidence and his brilliant mind and lastly his organs failed and he passed away at only 58.
Sometimes I don't think we realize what a destructive disease this is and neither does the alcoholic. My question still is how can we stress this point.
The ads on TV say you will get a sexy girl and have the most fun of your life if you drink and party. They got rid of cigarette commercials, that one cigarette commercial I can't even watch with the Trach , what about drinking commercials.
They say don't drink and drive, yeah right!! Thats all they say, Tell that to an alcoholic.
When AA and Alanon say if the drinking isnt stopped it gets progressive, they know what they are talking about.
Whats the best thing we as the spouses and family members can do?Work our programs, accept, be realistic and pray , a lot. Even with all our best intentions we don't know what their HP has planned for them.
Thanks, Bettina
-- Edited by Bettina on Monday 9th of September 2013 11:19:00 PM
Don't take what the alcoholics, addicts do personally, three quarters of the time they don't know what they are doing or why they are doing it and if its wrong most of the time they don't care or don't want to care and the cycle goes on. They don't mean to be ugly, they are probably really nice people. But right now they are infected with a disease.....The best thing for you to do is take care of yourself. They don't worry about you, like you worry about them. We love them, but right now they are kinda crazy, so don't take anything to heart. Work your Alanon program and get healthy, so you set a great example for them and are ready when they take sobriety seriously....take care, in support Oldergal
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Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
Put that on a sticky label and attach it to their forehead. Everytime you face them you get the message. A best message at that!! Mahalo Older and....Wiser. ((((hugs))))
They don't worry about you, like you worry about them.
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When I finally let that sink into my brain I was so depressed. Then I got mad. Then I got better and started taking better care of myself. Someone has to take care of me. I thought when we got married that we would have each other's backs. Turns out I was the only one who thought that.
Sigh. I know this is true. I try not to take it personally. I haven't been doing very good at taking care of me the past few days. Thanks for the reminder, time to put my focus back on me.
<3 Thanks oldergal! I'm am so glad I have found somewhere to go where there is such love and understanding. It definitely helps a lot. I have much to learn from everyone and much to learn about the program.
After a email last night and help from a fellow Al-anoner, I read your message again and it makes more sense to me. I let go more and more every day and I'm grateful for it.
I will practice, practice and practice some more.
(((( hugs ))))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
