The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I too feared because I hadn't heard from my son. I found out where he was by calling around.. He was drunk and sleeping. He's awake now and emailing me again. He has his phone back working.
It made me mad at myself that I didn't do what I thought was right and I went a head and made myself crazy that my son was dead.
One day at a time I will live and learn......and remember the next time... this is what alcoholics do.
Prayers for you and your son that he will call you soon...
Take care and remember you are not alone.
-- Edited by Cathyinaz on Monday 9th of September 2013 02:51:51 PM
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I have not heard from my son since last Friday. He was supposed to have picked up his cellphone at my place on Saturday and never showed up. I went to a meeting earlier today and that helped to ease my fear and anxiety.
Nothing I can do but wait for any news. I am so tired of feeling sad.
Nothing I can do but wait for any news. I am so tired of feeling sad.
Dunno what to say except, sending you peace and comfort energy.....I wold just keep working my program and make myself let go let go let go.....if I have to let go each hour, thats ok.....practice makes perfect......May PEACE be with you
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I usually feel sad when I'm projecting what could or might have happened or feeding on past memories of things that did happen. It helps me to focus on what I know for certain and to do the next right thing for me like reading from C2C or calling another member, house chores, or doing something to cheer another person up who is going through a rough time. Prayers for you and your son.
Rose, I know how it feels to not know...and worry. I also know how it feels to know....and worry. I hate them both the same!
I'm reading from alanon steps today to help me settle my fears:
'We begin to learn the basic alanon premise of taking our focus off of the alcoholic and keeping the focus on ourselves!'
'In alanon we come to understand that our lives may be unmanageable because we are trying to control the people and situations in our lives...by letting go of the illusion of control over other people , their actions, and their addiction, we find an enormous burden is lifted and we begin to discover the freedom and the power we do possess-the power to define and live our own lives'
Since I am sliding down the slippery wall of despair again, a grab onto these words as the only hope to pull me out of the pit. So, I decided to sip some tea and write out what I want MY life to look like. It's so difficult to focus on me! This, is my disease.
So, I will write. I will force myself to focus on me! I will do this until the joy of life enters my soul once more! Then, I will get up and do something for me! I can do this, WE can do this!
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More of LET GO & LET GOD, Less of GRAB ON & LET ME!
Rose, my son used to do disappearing acts too and I began to recognise it as a deliberate act on his part. It was about punishing me or having an affect on me, all about power really. I mean its so unacceptable for people to disappear, its quite a mean thing to do when you really think about it. Especially when they know that a loved one is worried and anxious. That is the point though, hes getting the attention from you that he is after. I gave away my power this way too but I have claimed it back now and worked through it and guess what? This stopped. I hope this is the situation, has he done this before? does he try to get reactions and sympathy? Is he often dramatic and attention seeking? If so then the chances are he knows what he is doing to you. In which case only you can change it.x
Fear sucks the life out of us, along with projection. As long as we keep our focus on the A we will suffer from these things. I found if I worked the programme, at my pace,, taking what I liked and leaving the rest I came to solutions that gradually replaced my fear with faith..I was able to detach with love and faith. The support of my alanon family here and at my f2f meetings was paramount I could never have done it alone.
My son would be out of contact for several months at a time, in the early stages he was only to happy to include me in the insanity, and I was a willing and frightened participant. As his disease progressed he kept it more to himselfit was taking him like a thief in the night..sadly this is the way of the disease and we have to arm ourselves with all tools necessary to give us courage and strength..we need and deserve a good life whether the A seeks recovery or not.
I was told many times to hand his disease and his dignity back only then would he come to his own decisions.....I could onlydo this when I was ready.
