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Court went "ok" as "Ok" as it could have gone....He does not have his license back yet, he will have to go to the registry and plea with them, hardship case, etc (re: his work) and they are going to send him to drinking and driving school for free...so even the court is "helping" him by not making him pay for the drinking/driving school.....
His best friend gave him a beautiful bicycle to get around on and they are toting his tools to the job sites as needed,so its like he doesn't even miss his truck, hardly , not with all the help he is getting...but oh yea, he is mad he does not have his license yet....he is mad b/c he didn't get that handed back to him yet......
I said to him, "well I hope this taught you a lesson" and he said and I QUOTE...."oh yea, it taught me, I will never give up my vodka, but I just wont' drink and drive" HIS words....
I said "Vodka means that much, hey???" and he said , QUOTES again.... "'xxxx' yea, it does...I want to drink more now...I just wont' drive...I am NOT giving up my vodka"
I told him "its your life, "R" and if that is what you want to do with it, I will pray for you and let you do what you gotta do..."
I hung up and thought to myself, we bring positive or negative in our lives by our choices....THIS fella was treated relatively well at home by the parents....He had it "ok" with them and hes drinking himself into the ground....He had the advantages, college, good job offers...Everything I either was deprived of or had to fight tooth and nail for and I hardly drink....NOT interested in the crap and what it does to the body....
Oh well, another one I have to hand over to his maker.....He wants to drink MORE, not less over this...He is angry he has this "hassle" as he puts it, doesn't figure in the equation that HE caused it...HE brought this on himself...."oh no...its the courts...the cops....everyone else but HIS doing"
the old blame game ..the old "I am not responsible" well?? if his friends would stop enabling him and stop holding him above the "pay the piper" crevice hole called HITTING BOTTOM....Maybe he would see that he has a huge problem....but people keep rescueing him and therefore he is under illusion that "oh well things aren't that bad...I am ok....karma has not kicked me so hard I bounce off the pavement, so why get help?????"
this is the mentality of a drunk, an alcoholic who is getting constantly rescued end enabled by well meaning people around him who are only helping him meet his end sooner.......
After talking to him, I did the good ole "S" prayer and told HP, this problem was his, not mine...I am ok...not upset.....sent him a prayer......working step 3 on this....yea, this sucks, his attitude, his lack of wanting help, his lack of seeing what he is doing, oh yea, but I am powerless....I am giving him over....I have my own life and my own stuff to take care of.....I love the guy, but I cannot, will not get involved in his life....I have my own life to work on...I can only change me...
Program keeps me on a level path....program has taught me that oh yea, its sad, to have to keep detaching, but in my powerlessness, i am taking my power back by focusing on me, my program, my things to improve and take care of me....
it is 11am..B4 it gets real hot I am headed out to the trampolene for some exercise, some fresh air, gonna work my recovery, and let this GO....I already HAVE !!!!
Thanks for letting me share......if any of you can get something out of this post, I am glad.....IF it has no value to you, then take what works and leave the rest......
By sharing it, I have regained my calm and getting my serenity back, I am "ok" b/c I CAN take care of and improve on and work on ME....YES: I am sad that he has no care for his life......YES: I will continue sending him prayers of peace and healing and love.....YES: I hate this damned disease that has brought me soo much pain...........However I don't own it , I only own my stuff...That is enough
I feel better by typing this out and sharing it........
-- Edited by canadianguy on Monday 9th of September 2013 02:34:24 PM
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
It's so so hard to let them go and I still have trouble with this~ if I let myself ~ detachment with love must be done~ it's between them and their higher power :) It sounds like you are handling it and taking care of you this morning :) I think that is the most important thing is taking care of oneself when there is chaos around us..always coming back to the self :) Keeping you and your brother in my thoughts and prayers this morn~ Hugs
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I needed these behaviors in my past they helped me survive I'm finding new and better ways to not just survive but thrive
Your doing very well and I'm happy for you. Your working your program
What your brother needs to know is that the disease is progressive and I'm sure somebody will let him know soon enough. We pray he not dead before he realizes it.
Take care my friend.....you are not alone and we support and love you :)
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
