The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Lots of them, Rose - most especially for you. Lots of readings on worry in my C2C reader helped me work through my own times of fear and anxiety about the unknown. Focusing my attention on doing the next right thing for me has helped me, too. Projecting into the future is a second nature reaction to the unknown that I've had to learn to notice. When I do, I can more quickly return to the present moment or day. I've gotten so much practice with it that the old second nature reaction is slowly being replaced with a new second nature behavior.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Saturday 7th of September 2013 11:01:38 AM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Saturday 7th of September 2013 12:18:25 PM
My son was supposed to be at my place this morning to pick up his cellphone and hasn't come. No contact from him. We spoke last night and he had been so apologetic about standing me up last Wednesday and he's done it once again! I don't know what to think or do. Beside myself with worry.
Alcoholics and addicts are flaky by nature. I mean flakiness is a part of the disease. It sounds as if step 1 is relevant here. I am reminded of the saying "Expectations are premeditated disappointments." The fact that you have his phone and even so he hasn't come to get it -- something that would benefit him -- shows how insane the disease is. The other thing we can be sure of is that when they're flaky, we care about it lots more than they do. I hope you can use this time to take good care of yourself. Hugs.
I'm so sorry Rose but I know how worried you can get. I have been calling everyone my son knows and nobody has seen him. He left the ranch about 7 days ago and the message I got was 5 days ago. Everyone I have called so far has not seen him. I have one more call back and that is his old landlord....if he hasn't seen him I'm calling the police.
This is what alcoholics do and my son has progressed to it. Before I would hear from him at least somehow someway only after a couple of days.
Hang in there and try not to worry to much it will only make you sick. That's what I'm doing.....praying for calm.
(((( hugs ))))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I found him. I should know better than to let myself get involved in his crisis. I needed to know he was alive.
Rose.....I didn't let go...I didn't let God handle it. It might take some time but it's a step forward for me. To keep in the moment and not project. I have experienced it first hand now so I pray I can learn from it.
You and I both need more meetings and a sponsor or we will stay where we are at in our programs. We won't progress much and peace will not come.
Take care of yourself Rose..... we are not alone.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
When I get like this I remember someone from Alanon saying that to worry is to not allow the person their dignity. I think this means that adults, alcoholics or not, can take care of themselves. Searching for them, checking on them eats away at their dignity as it sends a message that they are helpless and need rescuing. It is often more useful to question my own motives when I worry. Like, am I letting fear build up? am I loosing touch with the facts or the reality of the situation? While we worry we stop living our own lives, we again put ourselves on hold for another human being and then quite often we resent them later. Serenity prayer has power - accept the person for who they are, they let you down - fact. Concentrate on what you can change and thats you.
So sorry, Rose....I have two A brothers and 1 of them is NA on top of it...the younger, A / NA is on 5 yrs. prob. for being drugged 4 months or so ago and ramming into a police car w/his vehicle, drugged out of his mind...he was unconscious when the vehicle hit, so his lawyer got the attempted murder and all the other charges dropped b/c he was not AWAKE when impact happened....I am so pissed that he got off so easy...these people need to feel the HARD lessons so they can LEARN and reach out to program
THEN, my other brother, gets DUI..goes to court...I haven't heard anything from him and of couse, "I promise I will call you sis" oh yea, , like I was holding my breath waiting for him to call...NOT my problem or in my control....detach detach detach.......
Even with a GPS thingy on him, younger bro. (the cop car basher) he is totally as Mattie said "flakey" you just cannot depend on any of them, if not working a strong program to keep their word, be responsible, to do anything but worry or annoy you, I do hope U hear from him soon....
I feel so bad for the mom's w/ A or NA sons or daughters....Its gotta be hell....waaaay worse then a sibling and I got two siblings who are drunks an one is drunk/narkie....oh yea, loads of fun.....Sending prayers for ya , Serenity prayer comes to mind.....I say it over and over when in high stress along w/1st three steps...
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
